


Close Encounters

by RickGrimes



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Zombies, Anal Sex, Anonymity, Blow Jobs, Carl is 16, Daddy Kink, Dead Lori, Dick Pics, Father-Son Relationship, M/M, No Apocalypse, Oblivious Rick, Online Dating, POV Rick, Parent/Child Incest, Public Masturbation, Secret Relationship, Texting, Underage - Freeform, dad jokes, grimescest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-17
Updated: 2016-03-17
Packaged: 2018-05-26 00:47:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6216931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RickGrimes/pseuds/RickGrimes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rick decides it's time to move on from his wife's death, so he creates an online dating profile with help from his friends. After days of anticipation, somebody interesting finally messages him, a man with the username ZombieTacos. He has no idea who he's actually talking to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Close Encounters

               

Rick wasn’t well-versed at this sort of thing. Online dating. He didn’t feel as comfortable on the Internet as most of his colleagues. He wasn’t sure if it was an age thing or just his personality; he wasn’t big on technology or over-the-top electronics. He had a TV, a desktop computer, and a microwave…he was fine. If he needed to do anything extensive online, he just asked Carl to help—that’s what sons were for. After all, Lori wasn’t around for that kind of thing anymore.

That’s why it was difficult for him to set up his online dating profile. He didn’t have the first clue what the sites were—let alone how to use them. Rick only decided to get a profile because a buddy at work suggested it. Daryl, his partner insisted.

“Man, you don’t know what you’re missin’. I swear, if you get lucky you get a real good one, and then you get lucky ya know what I’m sayin’? Doesn’t really matter if they’re hot or not, I mean, some people you just talk to, and others you meet. No commitments. Sometimes I just get bored and wanna chat. All kinds of people on the internet.”

“He’s so full of shit, Rick,” Shane piped up, “He’s on them things for one thing alone. He’s lookin’ for someone to bang.” Shane emphasized his words by thrusting a fist forward.

“Man, shut up,” Daryl argued, turning to Rick, “Look, I’m not sayin’ I haven’t gone on there ‘cause I was lookin’ for a little action,” he admitted. “All I mean is that if you _happened_ to be lookin’ for that kind of thing, you’d find it, and if you were lookin’ for a nice girl to talk to, you could find that too, okay? All right? Geez, Shane. Lighten up, man.”

Shane put his hands up in protest, “Fine, I get it. You two’d rather jack off to some chick’s pictures on the internet than just meet someone the old fashion way. See, in my day, I didn’t need no computer to get me a girl. Hell, even today. I just gotta flash those lights right outside,” he said, pointing to his cruiser, “Right there, that gets me all the women I need. Well, if I didn’t already have Andrea,” he corrected himself.

Rick shook his head at his friends, “Jesus Christ, I can’t say anything without the angel and the devil on my shoulder gettin’ into an argument.”

Daryl threw a crumpled piece of paper at Rick, “Am I your angel, Rick?” He said, batting his eyelashes.

Rick wagged his eyebrows, and then let his smile fade. “Look, I’m serious. I think Carl’s ready. I think I’m ready to move on in my life.”

Shane and Daryl waited for Rick to continue.

“Lori’s gone. It’s been 7 years. Carl’s 16 now. He’d understand if I wanted to start dating again.”

Rick shrugged, “I just don’t have the time after work to go out and meet people. I have to take care of Carl. I have responsibilities.”

Shane nodded, “Andrea and me wouldn’t mind lookin’ after him. If you end up meetin’ someone and want some time alone. We’d pick him up from school or let him sleep overnight at our house. Seriously, man. You mourned Lori, of course you’re gonna feel weird about it, but maybe you do need to move on. Like you said, Carl’s 16. He can handle it.”

“You don’t think it’s selfish of me to find a new wife?” Rick wondered, “Is it right to remarry?”

Daryl pursed his lips, “I sure as hell can’t say. I never been married, but I think Lori would want you to be happy, and do what’s best for Carl.”

Shane laughed, “Daryl, I think I might cry.”

Rick rolled his eyes at Shane despite cracking a small smile, “Well, gettin’ the profile won’t hurt. Not like I have to marry the first woman I meet. I can start off by talking.”

“You need to get a fuckin’ laptop, man,” Shane said. “I can just picture you at your computer from 1998, wackin’ it to some grainy picture of tits on the dial up.”

“Excuse me?” Rick said, “I have Windows XP, and I got Wi-Fi for Carl. He’s got a laptop.”

“Oh, thank God, you can use his laptop to jack off to pictures of World of Warcraft or whatever he plays,” Shane cackled. “Get your own man. An iPad, or, shit, what are those things called? A tablet? You gotta get with the times,” he snapped. “This is 2016.”

Daryl couldn’t help but laugh with Shane, “He’s right man, sorry.”

Rick threw his hands up, “Why do these conversations always lead to talking about me jackin’ off?”

Daryl shrugged, “It’s just facts man. After work, I’m gonna hook you up. We’ll go to the Best Buy downtown.”

Shane scoffed, “Best Buy? Jesus Fucking Christ, I’m done with this conversation now. I do all my shoppin’ online. Much better deals.”

“How can I order a laptop online if I don’t have a computer?” Rick asked.

Shane frowned, “Fuck off.”

Rick and Daryl high-fived, getting back to work after Shane retreated to the break room. They had a few more reports to file, and then they were done for the day.

 

 --

 

“Carl? Are you home?” Rick asked upon entering the front door.

“What’s up?” Carl called from the kitchen, emerging with a bowl of cereal.

“Look what I got,” Rick said, showing Carl his handfuls of bags.

“That’s where you’ve been all this time?” Carl asked. “Shopping?”

Rick smiled bashfully, “Sorry, Carl. It was Daryl’s idea.”

Carl shrugged, “No big deal. You could’ve called or invited me.”

“Yeah, you’re right, son, but that’s another thing,” Rick said. “I picked out a new phone,” he explained, taking out one of the many packages from the bags.

“Are you serious?” Carl said incredulously, “What happened to my dad? Who are you?”

Rick laughed, leading Carl into the kitchen so he could place his new purchases on the table. He had at least seven bags. Carl was extremely intrigued. He set his bowl down on the counter, waiting for his father to show him what was in all the bags.

 

“Let’s see,” Carl urged. “This is exciting. Did you get me anything?”

“Hold your horses,” Rick laughed.

“This phone, it matches my new one,” Rick said with a grin, handing Carl the box.

“Holy shit—sorry, I mean holy crap. Wow, this is amazing,” Carl expressed gratefully, “Seriously, you have no idea how awesome this is.”

Rick smiled, “Really? I wasn’t sure if you’d like it.”

“How much money did you spend, Dad? This is crazy. Did you win the lottery?”

Rick shrugged, “I’ve been savin' for a while, figured I’d finally use all of the Christmas bonuses and tax returns on something useful. Plus you’ll be going away to school soon. You’ll need these things.”

Carl nodded in pleased understanding, "Did you go in your uniform again?"

"I mighta," Rick chuckled.

"Dad, you know people can't resist. You play pretty unfair."

Rick winked, "Gotta work with what you have."

 

Carl hugged his dad before he could even show him the next thing, “Thanks Dad. The iPhone 6s Plus. Wow. I can’t even. And you got me something else?”

“Apparently, we share the data on it. You just have to take the new phone in with your old phone and they’ll unlock it or whatever it is that they have to do, and then we’ll join up our plans. Between the two of us, it’s like 10GB of data or internet. Something like that.”

“Holy fuck,” Carl said. “I’m sorry,” he said, meeting his dad’s scolding expression, “I know I’m not supposed to swear, but I can’t even believe this right now. 10GB! You don’t even know how much I can do with that.”

Rick shook his head, “I’m just glad you’re happy. I wanted to do something nice for the both of us. You’ve been a lot easier on me than I can say for other parents.”

Carl blushed, shrugging. “You’re a good dad.”

Rick put his hand on his son’s shoulder, continuing with his show and tell.

“All right, so I got this. A laptop,” Rick said, looking at the box from a distance. “It’s an Apple MacBook pro laptop.”

Carl laughed at his dad’s explanation, “Cute. I, uh, that’s an awesome computer,” he finished with a shrug and a smile.

Rick contemplated that response, but he didn’t ask about it, “Next, I got this.”

“Microsoft Office?” Carl clarified.

“Yes,” Rick said, looking at the package in confusion. “The sales guy said it’s good for 3 devices, so I got it for us to share.”

“Sweet, thanks, Dad, my Mac can really use an updated version of Word,” Carl said.

“I got you something else,” Rick said excitedly. Before Carl could protest, “Get ready,” Rick warned.

Carl smiled brightly, “Seriously? What?” He loved getting gifts.

Carl almost shit himself when he saw the present. “A MacBook Air?”

Rick looked worried when Carl didn’t smile. Was that not a good gift?

“Dad. You are hands down the best ever. You really didn’t have to do this. If you regret spending the money, seriously, you can take it back. I would understand.”

“No way, Carl,” Rick argued, “These presents are for you. Besides, you can just sell your old one if it’s still in good condition and make some money for yourself. Put it away for school or something.”

“Dad, I don’t know what to say. Maybe I should get a job so I can pay you back for this stuff or something.”

Rick waved at Carl’s statement, “Seriously, gettin’ these kinds of things for you…it makes me happy. I don’t spend a lot of money, and the house is paid off, I got the raise a few months ago. Things are good here, Carl. You deserve a little treat,” Rick winked.

Carl smiled, “I love you, Dad. Thank you, really.”

Rick nodded, “My pleasure. Now, here’s the catch…”

Carl groaned, “Oh my God, I knew it!”

Rick grinned, “First, get your coat on ‘cause we’re goin’ out to eat, and second, you’re gonna help me set up all this stuff and teach me how to text.”

Carl froze, getting down on his knees, bringing his hands together as if he were praying, “Dear Lord, thank you for this beautiful day, where my technologically incompetent father has repented. The day is upon us, we are saved. He will learn to text, can I get a hallelujah!”

Rick shook his head, “I can’t escape it. Everywhere I go. Just getting’ teased constantly all day. Shane, Daryl, You.”

Carl got up laughing, “Seriously, Dad. This is a good thing. You don’t know how awesome texting is. When we get your phone set up, you’re gonna have a whole ‘nother thing coming. You’re gonna love it.”

“You better be right,” Rick laughed, smacking his son on the butt, “Little jerk.”

 

\---

 

Rick wasn’t expecting just how easy it was to formulate a text message.

Carl was a great teacher, “You don’t need to worry about all of these dumb short forms people say exist, because they don’t.”

“Really?” Rick asked, “Those always got me. I have no idea what people mean when they say stuff like ‘ik’ or ‘g2g lol ttc’,” Rick complained.

“Yeah,” Carl said, rolling his eyes, “Nobody even uses those. The only ones you need to know are lol and lmao really. Here, I’ll make you a list. If I think of anymore I’ll let you know, but seriously, Dad. It’s so easy.”

Rick squinted at the phone, “So how do I get to that image keyboard again?”

“Image?”

“Yeah, the one with the smiley faces and symbols,” Rick explained.

Carl grinned, “Emojis. Press the world icon next to the space bar.”

“I like the little officer one,” Rick pointed.

“I’ll put that next to your name in my contacts,” Carl grinned.

“Oh, how do I do that for yours?”

“Which one are you gonna use?” Carl whined, “Pick a cool one.”

“I will, just show me first,” Rick said.

After a week of fiddling around, Rick picked it up well. Carl made a point of consistently texting his father, even when he was at work.

“Daddyo, sup?”

Rick would always reply with the police car icon if he was patrolling or the man who had his hands folded in front of him as if he was sitting at a desk if he was doing paperwork.

Carl always liked it when his dad sent him a heart; he thought it was cute. He especially liked the blue one, and if his dad was in a really good mood, he’d send the one that had a bow.

Carl’s life was so much easier now that his dad could actually answer the phone. Before, he had to call the station or Shane or Daryl just to get his dad to check the damn voicemail. It was the worst if he needed rides or had to ask for permission. Rick was terrible for answering calls, but with the new novelty of the cell phone and texting, Rick always replied in a timely manner. Carl wanted to start sending him snaps, but Rome wasn’t built in one day.

 

 ---

 

Rick waited until he had successfully mastered his phone before he actually downloaded any crazy apps or got into the dating sites. He brought his gadgets to work so Daryl and Shane could help him out; he didn’t want Carl seeing any of that stuff.

“All right, so I got the phone set up,” Rick said, setting down his laptop, “How do I make a profile.”

Shane grabbed the laptop, “Daryl you get the phone. I’ll do this baby.”

Rick watched both of them work, bringing up sites, app selections, and a camera program so Rick could take a profile picture. He wasn’t sure if he actually wanted one, but it couldn’t hurt to take one just in case.

“What do you want your login name to be?” Shane asked.

Daryl asked a question at the same time, “Do you already know how to download apps?”

“Carl showed me, so if you just want to pick whichever ones…that’d be good, and then just show me how to work them after.”

“Perfect,” Daryl commented.

Rick answered Shane, “I don’t know, something witty, but not too flamboyant… what do you think?"

“How about CuffMe?” Shane suggested, “You got your profession there in innuendo, it’s perfect.”

Rick shook his head, “How about IShottheSheriff?”

“Jesus,” Daryl laughed, “Like you never heard that before. Good fuckin’ luck gettin’ laid with that cheesy line.”

“It’s a classic,” Rick grumbled.

Shane stared at the blinking cursor, “Got it, DickRyhmes.”

“No, Shane. Please.”

Daryl laughed, “Shit, bro. That’s good. Rhymes and everythin’.”

Rick deliberated, “I really like that show, Breaking Bad. Maybe put something about that in the name.”

Shane acquiesced, “All right man. Whatever you say.”

“BabyBlueHeisenberg is taken,” Shane said, “Bastards.”

Daryl piped in, “How about LincolnLaw? Sounds pretty cool.”

“Yeah, I like that,” Rick agreed immediately.

Shane nodded begrudgingly, “Where’d you get Lincoln from?”

“Just an actor’s name in some dumb show I watch. Always thought it sounded pretty cool.”

“All right girls, settle down,” Shane said, “We got a profile to write.”

 

When the profile was done, Rick read it aloud, fairly pleased.

“White, 5’11, fit, doesn’t smoke, atheist, graduated from university, law enforcement, 1 child, single, between 30 and 40, interested in men,” Rick recited.

“Shane, you made a mistake,” Rick laughed, “Very funny.”

Daryl shook his head, “Ain’t no way you’re 5’11.”

Rick groaned, “How do I get it to say women?” He asked nervously, wondering if Shane had done it on purpose. As if he actually knew that Rick wasn’t really interested in women per se. Obviously he liked women…it was just that he wasn’t really keen on having another wife. He wouldn’t feel right trying to replace Carl’s mother, and it just felt like he was betraying Lori.

Shane laughed, “I’d be more worried about that 1 child thing. I don’t know if anybody’s gonna wanna hit it if you got kids.”

Rick frowned, “Who wouldn’t like Carl?”

“True,” both Daryl and Shane agreed.

“Here man, I’ll fix it,” Daryl offered. “Dickbag,” he whispered to Rick in reference to Shane when he had his back turned.

“Fuck you, man,” Shane laughed, “I got ears everywhere. I can hear you mumblin’.”

Rick winked at Daryl.

Daryl changed the profile to show that Rick had no children and was interested in both men and women.

“Seriously?” Rick asked, although he was grateful for Daryl’s quick thinking.

“Yeah bro, you never know who you’re gonna meet. Fuck, I’ve made a shit ton of friends on these sites, gay or not, if you wanna go to the races or a game, people on here’ll go with ya. I’m down. Know what I’m sayin’? Plus, who ain’t ever thought of experimentin’ a little,” Daryl reasoned.

Shane grunted, “Yeah, yeah. I just don’t want Rick to get the wrong idea of what this is. Most of these people on here aren’t lookin’ for friends. If you say you’re interested in guys they’re gonna fuckin’ launch pictures of their hairy cocks at you, all day all night, man. Are you ready for that kind of thing?”

“Oh my lord,” Rick laughed, “That can’t be true.”

Shane pulled his phone out, “Look man. I’m not gonna tell you why I have ‘em, or what the fuck my profile says. Just know, these cocks are not mine.” He swiped across his phone multiple times, revealing countless pictures of male genitalia of different sizes, colours, and states.

“I like my women,” Shane announced, “But there ain’t nothin’ better than stringin’ along some pervert and then sending him back a picture of your own bigger, longer, juicier, hairier…”

“Enough!” Daryl groaned, “Fuckin’ sicko.”

Rick grinned, “You do that?”

“Why do you think I haven’t killed myself all these years?” Shane joked. “Nah, Andrea and me do it together. She thinks it’s funny. I ain’t no cheat. This is the only reason I even have an account on here. Guys get so riled up when they think they’re talking to some pretty little thing and then they find out they ain’t the only one in the conversation who has a dick.”

“Here,” Daryl said, giving Rick his phone back. “Now you have a couple of apps on your phone and your computer. It’s the same thing, and all the information is the same. If someone sends you a message and you read it when you’re on your phone, you can reply later on your computer, and you’ll still be able to see it. For now just use this app,” Daryl explained, pointing to Rick’s phone.

“It’s a wonder he can even do his paperwork here on these old things,” Shane said, smacking one of the computer monitors. “Guy doesn’t know anything.”

Daryl shrugged, “Took me a while to get the hang of all this too, but Michonne down in tech got me goin’. Take it a little at a time.”

“Thanks guys, I felt proud of myself for at least understandin’ the email. It’s not a good feeling when you’re son becomes smarter than you.”

“Speakin’ of your son. You tell Carl about this yet?” Shane wondered.

“I will only if it goes anywhere,” Rick responded.

 

 ---

 

For the first few days, Rick got a few dozen messages:

“Hey let me see a pic. Bet ur super hot.”

“law enforcement? Wow sexy”

“Are you from Atlanta?”

“Hi there LincolnLaw, that sounds like you’re trying a little too hard. Where’s your pic?”

Rick was a little weirded out when he got his first dick pic. He found that most of the women were nice and seemed genuinely interested in the finer points in his profile, and he found the men to be disgusting. He really wanted to make sure that Carl wasn’t seeing any of this garbage. He was starting to rethink the 10GB of data he had for grabs. Rick figured Carl had enough to worry about going to school and meeting actual people—no way Carl needed a dating site. A handsome young man like that could get anyone he wanted. Rick was quite proud for the way Carl turned out, if he was being honest.

Every day the guys at work would ask him for updates and all he had to show for it were 4 pictures of dicks and 1 extremely strongly worded paragraph about what Jenny from Atlanta wanted Rick to do to her.

After 2 weeks, Rick was ready to give up on the online dating world, but then he received a message he could actually relate to.

ZT SAYS: Hey, LincolnLaw, how are you? I’m ZombieTacos. I’m pretty new to this whole thing. Just looking for someone to talk to. No pressure or anything. If you want to chat, you know where to find me. Take care.

Rick responded immediately

LL SAYS: ZombieTacos, that’s a very interesting name. It’s refreshing to receive a normal message. I’m very new to this as well. I’d enjoy chatting with you. I apologize for not having a picture, but I’m just not ready for that yet.

ZT SAYS: that’s cool, same here. Plus I don’t want to say my name either. Kind of want to be covert if you know what I mean

LL SAYS: I’m just happy not to receive any more pictures of dicks.

ZT SAYS: I get one at least twice a day. don’t worry it’s normal

LL SAYS: It shouldn’t be normal. I had no idea that this was the state of things in society.

ZT SAYS: ooh ur profile says law enforcement that makes sense, u seem to actually care lol

 

Rick smiled, but he wasn’t quite sure why being a police officer meant anything. Didn’t anybody think that sending dick pics was wrong and improper?

 

LL SAYS: It scares me that it’s become such common behavior that people accept it as normal. I

really don’t think it’s acceptable. I would never send that kind of thing to anybody.

ZT SAYS: Ya I see what you mean. I agree. It’s just hard to do anything about it because there are so many people on the internet, and for them to monitor every convo to see who sends what then it would just become an invasion of privacy and everyone would be pissed. The only solution is for people to stop sending them and being weird lmao but that will never happen. Just like guys at my school. Always obsessed with showing each other their junk. I always wondered how they have the guts. I couldn’t lol

LL SAYS: You’re right, I never thought of that. It’s really too bad people seem to have no filter between their fingertips and the keyboard. That’s the only way to solve the problem.

ZT SAYS: haha yeah

LL SAYS: So your profile says that you're a student. You’re in school? At university?

Rick was a little disappointed when he didn’t get an answer immediately. He was getting ready to ask the man what kind of program he was taking. What he studied. He’d only been to community college himself, and he wondered if the man was doing something more prestigious. To be in school as an adult meant that the guy must’ve been in a long program or he had only just gone to university after a break from high school. Or, maybe the man was only in his early twenties. Rick felt weird about that. He hadn’t read ZombieTaco’s profile very carefully, so he wasn’t sure of his age. All he knew was that ZT was white, between 20 and 30, male, 5’7, thin, single, and interested in men. He wanted to know more.

 

Rick bit his nails, would this person mind such an age difference? He’d never gone for the young ones before, but this hadn’t been on purpose. He kind of liked the idea of a 25 year old or someone just a little younger than him. He was energetic, so it would be nice to have someone that could keep up with him. That was why he and Carl got along so well, Rick was young at heart. He loved spending time with Carl. It was effortless and fun, every time. Carl was Rick’s favourite person in the world.

Rick put his laptop away, figuring if ZombieTacos messaged him he could just reply later. Coincidentally, Carl came down the stairs, “What’s for supper?”

“I’m glad you asked,” Rick said. “I’m starving. How do tacos sound?”

Carl grinned, “Yes!”

 

Rick was in line at Taco Bell when his phone vibrated. He smiled, waiting to read it until later. He had no idea who this person was or what he looked like, but it was nice to be talking to someone regardless. It brought a certain spice to his routine life.

Carl was waiting at their usual corner both, phone in hand, texting.

Rick was concerned; now that he knew what the Internet was like, he wasn’t sure he liked Carl spending so much time on it.

“Who are you talkin' to?” Rick asked, setting down the tray of food on the table.

Carl flipped his hair out of his face, “Oh just a guy from school. He was asking about school stuff.

Rick nodded in acceptance, “How’ve you been likin’ your phone. Mine’s great. I really was missin’ out before.”

The boy smiled, “Dad, this phone is awesome. Seriously. I really appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome,” Rick said, pleased. He was happy to be out with his son, and he actually had something to look forward to at home. Obviously Carl was everything to him, but sometimes Carl hung out with his friends, or Rick had a day off while Carl was in school; Rick got lonely sometimes. Now he had someone to message. It brought a new excitement to eating tacos and to the somewhat mundane life of a small town police officer.

“Tacos are my favourite,” Carl commented. “Ugh, so good.”

“I know,” Rick agreed. Carl said it every time they went out.

 

Rick asked Carl what he wanted to do with the remainder of their evening once they went home. Sometimes they watched TV, sometimes they did chores together, and sometimes Rick read or researched while Carl did homework.

“I have a lot of homework, to be honest,” Carl said, “The new computer and phone definitely gives me tons of reasons to actually do it.”

Rick smiled, “All right, son. I’m gonna be down here doin’ some work. I’ll come up in a couple hours to check on you, and the work.”

Carl nodded, “I don’t know about me, but the homework will definitely need checking. Math sucks.”

“I was never a math man, myself,” Rick admitted. “That’s why I’m a cop, don’t take much of anything, ‘specially around here.”

“Dad,” Carl laughed, shaking his head

 

Rick was eager to open up the website so he could see what ZombieTacos had responded with.

ZT SAYS: Sorry I was just eating supper.

ZT SAYS: I’m in school. How about you lol? What do you do?

LL SAYS: Don’t worry, I was too. I’m a police officer.

ZT SAYS: Oooo. I wouldn’t say that to anybody around here.

LL SAYS: Why not?

ZT SAYS: People will think you’re trying to get them in trouble, or they’ll just ask you if you have handcuffs for sex.

LL SAYS: That’s a good point. You didn’t though.

ZT SAYS: I thought about it ;)

ZT SAYS: jk

 

Rick frowned, searching intently for the list of text short forms Carl had prepared.

“‘Jk’,” Rick read aloud, “Just kidding.”

 

LL SAYS: Lol, for your information, I’m not getting anybody in trouble, and I do have handcuffs, but I’ve only ever used them on perps.

ZT SAYS: omg, you actually say perps? I know an officer, and he says it all the time. I just thought it was his thing.

LL SAYS: It’s common lingo, but I do get teased for it. I bet your friend does too.

ZT SAYS: don’t worry, it’s cute.

 

Rick smiled at the compliment. He remembered how Carl always laughed and rolled his eyes when he used certain law enforcement jargon. Shane and Daryl constantly ripped on him for it. That never stopped him; he liked when Carl smiled, plus Shane and Daryl were just made to give people shit.

 

LL SAYS: How come you’re on a site like this when you’re only in your twenties? If you don’t mind me asking.

ZT SAYS: tbh, I just get bored of the people I know… I’m not really interested in people at school, and I don’t get out much lol. Not a lot of opportunity for meeting people.

LL SAYS: I know how you feel.

LL SAYS: I’m surprised that you messaged me, actually. It’s rare that people take a chance on profiles with no pictures.

ZT SAYS: Yeah…I actually wondered too. usually I don’t message anybody first. they message me first and send me pics, and sometimes I answer, sometimes not. All depends. Something about you just seemed interesting. Idk. Law enforcement, the cool username, older. But like I said, I wasn’t about to ask you for intimate details on being an officer. Cuffs don’t excite me that much.

LL SAYS: I always liked the baton myself. Makes the uniform look real good.

ZT SAYS: I can definitely second that. It’s cliché, but a man in uniform… haha oh boy.

LL SAYS: I’m around them all day, so you kind of get used to it.

 

Rick felt pleased that ZT had made that comment. He thought back to when he'd first bought Carl and himself all those gifts...how Carl had complimented his uniform. Maybe there was something to Carl's joke. Perhaps people really did think it was attractive, and that included ZT.

 

LL SAYS: There’s an option to write a bio and take a compatibility quiz, but I wanted to keep it simple. So if you want to know anything about me just ask.

ZT SAYS: Will do. Same to you. I didn’t fill out much on my profile either.

LL SAYS: I have to get going soon. Do you have any plans for the rest of the night?

ZT SAYS: Nah, just some assignments to finish. Maybe some video games. Who knows. What about you?

LL SAYS: Probably reading. Maybe going straight to bed. When do you think you’ll be on next?

ZT SAYS: Cool, what book?

ZT SAYS: I’m always on cuz I got my phone on me, so feel free to message whenever. :)

LL SAYS: It’s just a Stephen King book, nothing grand.

ZT SAYS: Hey man, Stephen King is boss, and any reading is good reading. I like reading once in a while. I either read like 5 books in 1 week or no books for an entire year haha. Last thing I read was the Gone series.

LL SAYS: No kidding. I’ve read that. Obviously it’s a bit out of my age range, but I think young adult fiction is just as good if not better than adult fiction.

ZT SAYS: Right? Well good night. Like I said, message me whenever. We can talk more about books.

LL SAYS: Great. :)

 

 

“Hey, Carl!” Rick called, ascending the stairs.

“Yo,” the boy said when Rick opened the door.

“How’s the work comin’ along?”

Carl huffed, “I got a few problems done, but it’s difficult.”

Rick sat on Carl’s bed, looking over his work.

“Hmm,” Rick mused, “Let’s see the textbook.”

Carl watched his father carefully as he examined his work.

“Honestly, Carl. I don’t remember quadratics all that well, but you seem to have shown your work, and all the multiplication looks good. The graphs look neat too, whether they’re right or not. Good job. How many questions you got left?”

Carl smiled, “That’s 1A-G, so now I have 3C-E, and 4A-L.”

Rick raised his eyebrows, “Teacher’s got nothin’ better to do than assign all these random numbers and letters for homework? Don’t they understand you have other classes?”

“They don’t care,” Carl shrugged.

“Well, does this math teacher ever check over your work?”

“She assigns us each one question and we go to the board to write it down, then she goes over it with the class.”

Rick deliberated, “What other homework do you have?”

Carl thought before answering, “A book report for English, and a research assignment on a non-profit organization for Social Studies.”

“Jesus, I’m glad I’m not in school,” Rick said. “I’ll tell you what. Do 3D and 4A-D, write an intro to your report, pick an organization for the last thing, and call it a night.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Carl said, “What’s gotten into you? Are you sure you don’t want me to do it all tonight?”

“Is it due tomorrow, Carl?” Rick asked.

“Just the math. The rest is due Monday.”

“Perfect,” Rick responded, “No reason to work yourself to death. Just do what you can.”

Carl smiled, “Thanks, Dad.”

“Anytime,” Rick answered. “What do you want in your lunch? I’m going to make them now.”

“Uhh, anything. Doesn’t matter,” Carl shrugged, “As long as there’s something chocolate.”

 

 

Rick got back to his computer around 11pm. He wanted to know more details about this stranger, but he didn’t want to come on too strong and scare the guy off. He would have to find a balance between being interested and being creepy.

 

LL SAYS: I’m not sure if you’re online or not, but I just wanted to say goodnight and I hope to talk to you tomorrow.

ZT SAYS: Goodnight :) Sorry you had to be so busy. I just finished my homework. Are you sure you can’t stay for a bit?

LL SAYS: Maybe a few minutes. I’m exhausted.

ZT SAYS: Me too, but I wanted to ask you another question. Then you can ask me one more and we can both go to bed.

ZT SAYS: You only have to say yes or no.  We'll be curious and want more info...Then next time we talk, we’ll have things to ask each other.

LL SAYS: All right. Sounds good.

ZT SAYS: Were you ever married?

LL SAYS: Yes.

ZT SAYS: Now you go.

LL SAYS: Do you find it attractive that I’m a cop?

ZT SAYS: Yes. Ask another, that one doesn’t give you much to be curious about.

LL SAYS: What are you most scared of?

ZT SAYS: My dad dying

LL SAYS: You're right. Definitely curious. I wish I could stay longer.

ZT SAYS: That's okay, I'm definitely ready for bed, plus I have to rest up to bombard you with questions tomorrow.

LL SAYS: Talk to you tomorrow ZombieTacos.

ZT SAYS: peace

 

Rick turned off all of the lights downstairs and went upstairs to wish Carl goodnight. He knocked lightly at the door, “Carl?” He nudged the door open and walked into the dimly lit room.

“Did you get everything done okay?” Rick asked.

“Yeah, thanks for cutting me a break,” Carl replied.

The boy left his desk and went to sit with his father on the bed. Rick put his arm around him.

“Are you doin’ all right, Carl? Everything at school, your friends, me? Are you happy.”

Carl shrugged, “I don’t know. Everything’s good I guess. Just normal. School sucks, friends are okay…I don’t really have any.”

Rick nodded, urging Carl to continue, “I think we’re great. I mean, you obviously don’t buy me enough presents or cut me any slack when it comes to school, and you make me do chores all day."

Rick laughed, “Well I just wanted to make sure. If anything’s wrong you can tell me.”

“I would always tell you, Dad,” Carl promised. “I just…since Mom, nothing really seems that bad to complain about.”

Rick nodded, “I understand. That’s what I say at work when they ask me how I am. How could I be any different? I’ve been the same for 7 years.”

“Exactly,” Carl agreed. “Maybe we should go to counselling or something.”

“Ah,” Rick waved the suggestion away, “We’re fine. We have each other.”

Carl smiled, “Are you okay, Dad?”

“I’m lonely,” Rick sighed. “But, I think we have a good thing here. Together. I don’t feel like I should be lonely. I don’t really want someone new…or have to go through the whole dating process or anything like that."

Carl was quiet, "You think you'll ever meet someone?

"I just wish there was someone here that wasn’t a stranger who could fix everything. Do you know what I mean? I don't know. Someone at work that I never noticed before, or a childhood friend. You know? Sounds kind of dumb when I say it out loud.”

Carl tilted his head, “I think I get it. You feel like there somebody who’s been around all along that can make you feel better about everything, like something’s right in front of your face, but you can’t see it yet.”

Rick nodded, “I couldn’t have said it better."

They were thoughtful for a few minutes, sitting comfortably together. "I don’t want to put all of this on you. I’m not…trying to find a replacement for her. I’m not saying you’re not enough in my life, but I feel like my life needs some new perspective,” Rick said, even though the words didn't come out exactly like he wanted.

“I would understand, Dad. I don’t want you to be lonely.”

Rick squeezed Carl, “We’ll see what happens, bud. Maybe it’ll be us against the world for the rest of my life.”

Carl laughed, “Who knows. Maybe I’ll fail high school and have to live in your basement. You’ll get really disgusting and never find anybody and then I’ll let myself go and you’ll retire and we can just become hermits and live off your savings.”

“I thought that’s what we were already doin’,” Rick laughed, “I’ve been in the process of getting you to fail since September, and all the take out…woo.”

“Oh my God, Dad,” Carl laughed, “Don’t say that, I might actually fail. That would be so bad.”

Rick shrugged, “I’d still love you.”

 

\---

 

Rick felt a little guilty for not being forthcoming with his new friend. He hadn’t disclosed that he had a son or a dead wife. Those were two major things that would seriously affect the direction the relationship would take. He needed to be honest or else he would just be sabotaging himself. He vowed to at least tell ZT about Lori.

 

ZT SAYS: Hey, where you been? It’s been a day.

LL SAYS: Sorry, I didn’t mean to. Work was busy this Friday. Lots of drunkards.

ZT SAYS: lmao I understand. At least it’s the weekend for you, right?

LL SAYS: finally :) It's good, even though I have to work Sunday night.

ZT SAYS: So, I wanted to ask you…

LL SAYS: ?

ZT SAYS: You were married?

LL SAYS: Yes.

 

Rick sighed, running his hand through his hair. He wondered where this conversation was going to go. He didn’t really like to talk about Lori, and discussing her was like a gateway into the topic of his son. Would anybody accept Carl? Obviously he wouldn’t tolerate anything less, but most people didn’t want to be with someone who already had a child. He didn’t want to ruin things with ZT. They were going so well.

 

ZT SAYS: What happened to your wife? I don’t want to pry, but it can really only go two ways if you’re single.

 

Rick didn’t answer for a minute, pondering the best way to word his response.

 

LL SAYS: She died a while ago. I don’t want to scare you off or anything, but that’s kind of why I’m here. I didn’t say anything before because it’s not exactly a pleasant icebreaker.

ZT SAYS: I understand :( Don’t worry. I’m sorry for making you talk about it. I just wanted to know more about you.

ZT SAYS: I don’t really know why I’m here, but maybe it’s not for me.

LL SAYS: What do you mean?

ZT SAYS: I’m not in desperate need of anybody, but maybe in a weird way I signed up so that you could meet me and have someone to talk to. Like obviously I wouldn’t mind going out with someone, but talking to you is probably the only reason I’ve stuck around this long. It sounds like you don’t have anybody offline, so maybe it’s for the best. I don’t mean to be presumptuous, but you get it right. Or do I just sound like a dick?

LL SAYS: It’s all right, really. I enjoy talking to you, and if that’s the reason you’re here, how could I be upset? You’re the reason I’m still here. I was about ready to give up on the 2nd day.

ZT SAYS: You've had so much life experience. You've already been married, so you actually have a reason to be on this site. I don't want you to think that I'm just talking to you for fun, but that's what being on the site is for. I just mean, you've obviously been through a tragedy, so we're coming at this from different angles.

LL SAYS: I get it. Still. I can’t wait until we actually get to know one another better. Talking about my past seems like a good start since I obviously have one.

LL SAYS: I do have friends, but nobody I can really be open with. It's good you're here, even as a friend.

ZT SAYS: I feel like I can talk to you about anything which is why I should tell you...

ZT SAYS: I know exactly what you mean.

ZT SAYS: My mom died when I was a kid.

LL SAYS: I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t wish loss on anyone. Is that why you’re scared of your father passing away?

ZT SAYS: He’s all I have left… If I lost him, I don’t know where I’d be.

LL SAYS: I want to say something, but it’s going to be the second bomb I drop tonight.

LL SAYS: I just think that you should know now before this goes any further.I really hope you can forgive me for not sharing earlier…

ZT SAYS: You have a kid?

ZT SAYS: I knew it. As soon as you said you had a wife. It only makes sense.

LL SAYS: I’m sorry.

ZT SAYS: I’m right?

ZT SAYS: Fuck. I have to go.

  
Rick was in shock. He couldn’t believe that he’d just ruined everything. He had really thought that ZT would be more understanding. He knew realistically that he couldn't expect somebody, especially someone he’d only met recently to accept a child that wasn’t theirs into their life, but he had hoped. That was the dangerous part of this entire game, Rick realized. Hoping. If he had just kept to himself and if he hadn’t expected anything to come out of this interaction, everything would still be okay. But now he felt rejected and lonely. He was back at square one.

“Carl?” Rick called. He wanted his son’s company more than ever despite Carl being the reason that ZT bailed. He wouldn’t blame Carl for that, though. Carl came first, and if somebody didn't like that Rick had a son, then that was too bad.

“What?” Carl responded loudly.

“What are you doin?” Rick asked.

“Nothing!”

Rick shifted in his chair at the kitchen table.

“Get your butt down here.”

“What do you want, Dad?” Carl mumbled.

Rick frowned, “You been cryin’?”

“No, just leave me alone,” Carl retorted, making way to leave the kitchen and go back to his room.

“I will never do that,” Rick said seriously. “Sit down, tell me what’s the matter.”

“It’s stupid,” Carl said, pausing in the doorway.

“So,” Rick shrugged. “It’s still important if it made you upset.”

“It was just someone online,” Carl explained.

Rick bristled. Seems like everybody on the Internet decided to be a huge dick that day. He was angry at whoever made Carl upset. He could take people being rude to him, but not to his son. No way in hell.

“Do you want to talk about it? I don’t want to see you upset, son.”

Carl shrugged, “It doesn’t matter. It was my own fault.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s embarrassing,” Carl admitted.

“Wanna get some ice-cream? You can tell me about it.”

Carl nodded, his clouded eyes brightening up a bit.

“Great,” Rick smiled.

 

\---

 

“So tell me about this idiot online,” Rick urged Carl.

Carl’s eyes flashed to his father’s as he devoured his caramel chocolate brownie ice-cream cone.

“I’m the idiot, Dad,” Carl admitted. “It was nothing. I’ve been thinking about it, and I have no right to be upset.”

“I wouldn’t say that. I just wish you’d tell me exactly what was going on, Carl.”

“I have friends online,” Carl said, gauging his father’s reaction before continuing. “I meet them through my blog and stuff. You know. Playing video games too. And one of my friends told me something personal today and I didn’t react the way I should’ve. I was a dick.”

Rick nodded in understanding, poking at his frozen yogurt with 15 different toppings. He always made the mistake of putting too much candy and not enough dairy into the bowl, and then all of the toppings got frozen and chewy, and he couldn’t finish them without hurting his teeth.

“What did your friend say?”

Carl shook his head, “Just a secret.”

Rick frowned at his son’s secrecy, but he couldn’t exactly blame him for having friends on the internet. He was doing the same thing. Suddenly it occurred to Rick that he might search his son’s computer one of these days. If he could guess the password, it wouldn’t be that hard to navigate Carl’s laptop.

“If you were in the wrong, then at least you can admit it to yourself. Apologize and make amends. Share something about yourself to make your friend not feel so stupid for sharing with you. I’m sure this person will forgive you.”

Carl seemed to accept the response.

Rick wished somebody would have this conversation with his internet friend. How could anybody blame him for not sharing that he had a child when ZT’s reaction to the news proved his reasoning to be sound? If this was what everybody’s reaction was going to be to finding out about Carl, then Rick would rather not be on the sites in the first place. It was just setting himself and others up for disappointment. He had bigger problems with his son, as it seemed, anyways. Carl was being secretive and mysterious for no reason, and that was unusual. Rick always thought he could count on Carl to tell him everything. Why didn’t Carl trust him anymore?

“Carl, why aren’t you telling me the full story? Don’t you trust me?”

Carl looked guilty, “I want to, Dad, but I’m just not ready. I want to figure out what I’m going to do about this first. I just don’t feel right talking about someone else’s secret. You know? I’m sorry. It has nothing to do with not trusting you. Really. Sometimes there are just things you have to keep to yourself. There are probably things you don’t tell me,” Carl said with a sly smile.

Rick shook his head, “Well all right, you got me. Let’s get goin’.”

“Can I finish that?” Carl asked, pointing towards Rick’s dessert with a grin.

“Sure you can,” Rick smiled. He would be okay. He had Carl.

 

\---

 

Rick couldn’t believe it when his inbox had a notification. From ZT. It had only taken 1 day, but it seemed as if ZT had gotten over his issue. Or he could be back to give Rick more shit... The man took a breath before he opened the message.

 

ZT SAYS: so, you have a kid.

LL SAYS: Yes, I have a son.

LL SAYS: Does that bother you?

ZT SAYS: It did. But now I realize I made a mistake. I’m not bothered anymore.

ZT SAYS: I’m just really sorry for what I acted like.

ZT SAYS: It was just a bit of a surprise. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you or make you feel bad for keeping it a secret. I know why you did it.

ZT SAYS: Does having a son bother you?

LL SAYS: Never. Even after what happened between us, I would never feel guilty about having my son. I’m glad you came around, and I’m sorry for keeping it a secret, but what happened is why I did keep it a secret. I wanted a chance, and if you had seen that I had a son from the beginning, I’m not sure you would’ve given me one.

ZT SAYS: It sounds like your life is a lot like mine. It’s just me and my dad too. He never remarried either. Do you ever talk to your son about what happened with your wife?

LL SAYS: I could never figure out how to do it, no matter how many books I read. Thankfully he didn’t push me away when it happened, but we became closer. I don’t know how I would’ve got him back if he checked out.

ZT SAYS: My dad was really depressed. Mostly angry. But I could tell he needed my help, so I just kept bugging him until he came around. Now we’re bff lol

LL SAYS: Thank goodness for sons like you and like mine. I never thought about it like being best friends, but now that you say that, I can see how that might be.

ZT SAYS: :)

ZT SAYS: how old is he?

LL SAYS: 16

ZT SAYS: wow, interesting.

LL SAYS: I was practically a teenager when he was born, but I’m glad it happened that way. I wouldn’t want to be and old man changing mine and my son’s diapers.

ZT SAYS: lmao ew, definitely not

LL SAYS: Do you have this messaging system on your phone?

ZT SAYS: sure do, why, you gotta go?

LL SAYS: Just for a while. I have to pack tomorrow’s lunch, stuff like that.

ZT SAYS: np! I’ll be here when you come back. Just doing homework and things.

LL SAYS: bye ZombieTacos

LL SAYS: You have no idea how glad I am to hear from you again.

ZT SAYS: cya LincolnLaw ;) I missed you

 

LL SAYS: Just finished packing my lunch. You still awake?

ZT SAYS: I’m always awake lol. How’d it go?

LL SAYS: I really need to get to the grocery store. My lunch food selection isn’t ideal.

ZT SAYS: I kind of have another question for you, if you don’t feel weird about answering. I promise I won’t be a dick like last time.

LL SAYS: I told you, you don’t have to feel bad about that anymore. It’s done, and I forgive you.

LL SAYS: Ask me whatever you want. Seriously.

ZT SAYS: How come you’re not just interested in women? On your profile it says men and women, and I don’t want to be too personal, but was that something you just thought about after your wife…Idk, do you understand what I mean? I’m not trying to be rude.

LL SAYS: It’s okay. I’ve always known that I wasn’t attracted exclusively to women, but I just happened to marry one, and I was never dissatisfied. After my wife, I just figured I could never replace my son’s mother, so it would be better to explore another side of myself, this way my son might accept a new partner more readily.

ZT SAYS: I understand. Thank you for answering. It makes sense. I’ve always just been gay. Maybe one day I’ll discover new tastes, but I am very confident that I like exclusively men.

LL SAYS: Lucky for me :)

ZT SAYS: Do you have a question for me?

LL SAYS: Where are you from? (Sorry, couldn’t think of anything serious)

ZT SAYS: It’s okay, we have enough seriousness in these convos.

ZT SAYS: I’m from a really small town near Atlanta. I’m not sure if I should say exactly where. Idk, I’m not scared to tell you, but I don’t want anybody I know in real life to find out who I am. It’s just such a small world, what if you knew someone I know and put pieces together?

LL SAYS: You’re right. Now that you mention it, I don’t have Atlanta’s size to hide me from acquaintances. If anybody knew where I lived and found out I was an officer, they’d only have 10 people to sift through before they knew it was me.

ZT SAYS: I feel like a dick. I just don’t want anything to get awkward, even though that’s what I just did. Ugh I’m such an idiot.

LL SAYS: Don’t say that, it makes perfect sense, and you didn’t offend me. Don’t worry. Let’s just say that we both live close to Atlanta.

ZT SAYS: How about we talk for a couple more weeks, and then maybe we can tell each other where we’re from. Maybe even names…ahah that’s scary, but someday we should.

LL SAYS: Sounds like a plan. I want another question. A redo.

ZT SAYS: Fair, go ahead.

LL SAYS: How much do you still miss your mom?

ZT SAYS: I used to cry for her during the first couple of months, but I could tell it was hurting my dad, so I just kind of stopped. Eventually it got really easy to handle, and now I remember and miss her, but I only cry when it’s her birthday or when I see stuff to do with moms lol. It gets easier, but I’ll never really get over it. Having my dad helps a lot.

LL SAYS: Sorry that it had to happen to you. I wouldn’t wish it on anybody.

ZT SAYS: It is what it is. I think my dad took it harder than me. I always wonder what he feels like about the whole thing, but we don't talk much about it. We kind of pretend it never happened

LL SAYS: Everybody has different ways of handling things. As long as you and your old man are close, then I guess that's all you can ask for.

ZT SAYS: true.

LL SAYS: All right, I think it's time to turn in.

LL SAYS: Goodnight

ZT SAYS: Thank you for today. Goodnight.

 

Rick closed his laptop, getting up from the couch and stretching. He and ZT didn’t really know many details about one another despite  the depth of their conversations; he didn’t know the man’s exact age or what kind of family he had, or whether he preferred horror movies or action movies, or what he wanted to do with his life, but he could definitely say that what they had was enough. The man seemed to be so understanding and open-minded. So nonjudgmental and fair… Rick hadn’t experienced that kind of ease or friendliness in a while. Someone who understood loss as well? Rick couldn’t wait to learn more about his new friend.

 

 

For the next week that Rick chatted with ZombieTacos, all he could think of was what the man’s name was. Where he lived. What he was taking in school. Whether he’d ever had a boyfriend before. But Rick didn’t want to make the guy uncomfortable by asking the questions directly, especially after what he’d said the last time, when Rick asked where he was from.

They talked more about their personal lives, save all of the names and identifying details, and more about the future. But everything was always _if we meet,_ or _maybe one day._ They talked about vacations they'd like to take, what Rick would do if he wasn't a police officer, random memories, books... pretty normal stuff. Through all of that, Rick learned nothing of substance from his mystery man. Sure it was great that ZT wanted to go on a road trip and he'd love to see Europe....but Rick wanted to know his family, his friends, what his name was--the little details were what mattered most to him. Rick would trade every bit of random info ZT would ever send him if he could just know his damn name, or what he was majoring in at school. Then again, Rick did enjoy knowing the few things he did know... The secrecy was a turn on , but it was also deeply frustrating. He figured ZT had learned some tricks from Carl or something with the way he evaded questions and giving explanations.

 

Although, how could Rick complain about ZT when he obviously adored the guy. Rick had grinned for an entire hour when ZombieTacos said he didn’t even answer other messages anymore. They were basically exclusive, especially considering that Rick had never really answered anybody. The more he talked to ZT, the more he became desperate to know more.

Rick didn’t want to be one of those assholes who asked for a picture, especially a sexual one. But if ZT didn’t want to say his name, he most definitely wouldn’t be taking a picture of his face and sending it. It seemed as if Rick couldn't ask anything without making ZT uncomfortable. Sometimes it worried him, but it didn't stop him from talking to the man.

 

LL SAYS: I have a few minutes before I have to pick up my son from school

ZT SAYS: Lol, I’m in school rn. It sucks. Any plans tonight?

LL SAYS: Nah, how about you?

ZT SAYS: We’ll see what my dad says.

LL SAYS: So I’ve been meaning to ask you. Do you live with your dad? You mention him a lot as if you do, but I just figured since you were going to university you might live on your own or with a roommate.

 

 

Rick waited, but ZT didn’t respond for a while. He had to put his phone away and drive to the high school, so he would have to wait. Maybe ZT was caught texting in class and had to stop.

“How was school, Carl?”

The boy shrugged.

“What’s wrong?” Rick asked.

“How are you supposed to tell somebody the truth when you know it could make them upset?”

Rick thought, “Well, you just have to do what you know is right. Don’t worry about what somebody else thinks. If you need to tell the truth, tell it. If they’re a good person, they’ll forgive you for lying, and if they’re not, they’ll be angry with you—maybe to the point of never forgiving you, and then at least you can know that you were brave enough to be honest.”

Carl nodded, “Yeah. I guess. And before you ask, it’s nothing. I just want to figure it out first, and then I’ll tell you the whole story. It’s not a big deal. Just kind of need some time to think about how I’m gonna do this.”

“What happened? Someone at school or is that online friend again? I’m worried about you, Carl. Maybe you shouldn’t be talking to this person if it’s stressing you out so much.”

“No, Dad. It’s not like that. It’s a good thing. After the last time, we’ve become much better friends. It’s like me acting like a jerk was a good thing. I just want to make sure I don’t do it again.”

Rick looked at Carl, bewildered, “I don’t know what’s going on, but I hope you plan on tellin’ me soon. I’m gonna have to get Daryl and Shane to tail your or something. Get Michonne to hack you, then maybe I’d know what’s going on with you.”

Carl's face became extremely defensive, and he shifted in the passenger's seat to face Rick and argue, but before he could say anything Rick stopped him, “Don’t talk. Think.Take your time, Carl, figure out whatever you need to and get it sorted out. I’ll be here. I want you to talk to me instead of asking for advice in a roundabout sort of way and then disappearing. I want to know what’s going on in your life. That's why I suggested tailin' you. It'd be the only damn way to find out anything about your life.”

“I promise. It’s not anything bad. Please. I’ll tell you later. I’m just not ready to tell you yet. Can’t you understand that? I need time.”

“Just as long as you’re not in trouble or anything.”

“No, nothing like that,” Carl assured his father.

Rick wondered at first if Carl was being dishonest, but he knew that was unlikely. He could always tell if Carl was lying, and it seemed that the boy was being truthful—he really just wasn’t ready to talk about what was bothering him. Rick smiled to himself, poor kid probably had some secret girlfriend that he was talking to. He was probably embarrassed. If only Carl knew what Rick was getting up to…maybe Carl wouldn’t feel so bad talking about his problems; Rick imagined they were probably similar to his own. That didn’t exactly comfort him when he thought of the kind of perverts his son could be encountering. Rick would give Carl a bit more time, and then he was demanding answers. If necessary, he’d even give some answers of his own. It was only fair.

 

Carl was distant for the rest of the evening. Rick allowed him his space, letting Carl go up to his room to eat by himself. Corndogs and fries didn’t really need to be eaten at the table anyways.

Rick sat on the couch, flipping through the channels to choose a show before digging into his plate.

He settled for _You've Got Mail._ He liked Tom Hanks and hadn’t seen it in a while. It had only just started, to his delight. As he watched, he laughed at himself for choosing a movie that fit his life so accurately. Seeing the miscommunication and mystery of the two characters in the movie made him hyper aware of the mystery in his own life. Who in the hell was ZombieTacos? He needed _something._ A single grain of information. Hair colour, favourite movie, favourite band…age and location would be an even better start. Rick grabbed his phone from his pocket. It was about that time.

 

LL SAYS: How are you today?

 

ZombieTacos replied immediately.

 

ZT SAYS: Hey, I’m ok. Hbu?

 

Rick smiled, settling into his spot on the couch. He was quick to pick on the meaning of ‘hbu’ and was probably a little too self-congratulatory.

 

LL SAYS: I’m all right. Just watching a movie. Anything wrong in particular?

ZT SAYS: Cool what movie?

ZT SAYS: Nah, just glad to be talking to you.

 

Rick smiled, pleased. He had been looking forward to this all day. Maybe he'd get further with ZT than  he did with Carl.

 

LL SAYS: You've Got Mail. Nothing else was on, plus I actually do like it.

ZT SAYS: Nice. I’ve never seen it, but I know Tom Hanks is in it. I totally love Tom Hanks.

LL SAYS: Me too. He’s one of my top 5, for sure.

ZT SAYS: :)

ZT SAYS: Can I ask you a question?

LL SAYS: Of course.

ZT SAYS: Are we just friends? Talking? Or do you think this will actually turn into something?

LL SAYS: I think for now we’re just talking, but I’d definitely be up for more. Really all that’s stopping me is having a son. I don’t want you to feel pressure or think I expect anything of you, and I wouldn’t want him to feel weird about the whole thing. Especially since you're just in your 20s...

LL SAYS: But, if any of that is bothering you…I talked to my boy the other day, and he wasn’t opposed to me finding someone new. So I guess it's up to us where we want to take it. What do you think?

ZT SAYS: I don’t know what it is, but I really like you. I know we haven’t been talking for that long, but I feel so close to you already. Maybe it’s weird, but you remind me so much of my father. That probably says something about me, but you get it. You’re familiar, in a good way.

LL SAYS: I understand. Talking to you is the highlight of my day, even if we don’t say much. I just like to know you’re there. I just wish I could get some answers from you, and then I could give you some of my own answers. I think before we even consider moving forward, we should trust each other more.

ZT SAYS: What do you want to know?

 

Rick deliberated. Would he actually get answers, let alone truthful ones?

 

ZT SAYS: I know I’ve kept a lot of things secret, but it’s not because of you. I just don’t want anybody to know who I am. It would get back to my dad, and he wouldn't like it

LL SAYS: I wouldn’t tell

 

Rick noticed ZT’s mention of his dad again. Obviously ZT lived with his father, but if ZT was in university, wasn’t it a little too much for him not to be allowed on dating websites?

 

LL SAYS: Besides, you’re probably a little too old to not be allowed on dating websites. I'm sure he's not that controlling.

ZT SAYS: I wouldn’t want to risk it…especially with what you know dating websites are…especially since he doesn’t know I’m gay.

LL SAYS: That’s right. I’m sure he wouldn’t want to know you were being bombarded by disgusting pigs all day. It’s easy to forget since I blocked everybody except you.

LL SAYS: Maybe you should tell him. I’m sure he would accept you if what you tell me about him is true. He adores you.

ZT SAYS: Idk. Maybe. :( I really want to tell you my name, but if you’re cop, you could find things out lol. You could know me or my dad, and then…Idk. I just want to wait. I hope it’s okay.

LL SAYS: Hey, I’m not exactly forthcoming either. I enjoy privacy. It keeps this fun too. Don’t ever be sorry for not telling me things. I get it.

ZT SAYS: Thank you. I promise I will tell you soon, just… Maybe once I’m sure my dad would be cool with it, or maybe once I know for sure you’re ready for this.

LL SAYS: I want you to be ready. You’re obviously young. I don’t know how young, but younger than me. My son is probably not much younger than you… maybe 7-10 years? I want you to be ready. I’m not a love ‘em and leave ‘em kind of guy, and I don’t want to start something just for it to end in a few months.

ZT SAYS: I understand. I’m not interested in anything short term either…that’s why I freaked out that you have a son at first…I was wondering if I could handle it.

ZT SAYS: I’ve had a boyfriend before. Once.

 

Rick frowned. Boyfriend? Who?

 

LL SAYS: Really?

ZT SAYS: Yeah, when I was 15. It lasted like 2 days.

LL SAYS: What happened?

ZT SAYS: The guy decided he didn’t want a boyfriend. He just wanted to fuck.

 

Rick was torn between anger and intrigue. Was his friend used or did ZT know better?

 

LL SAYS: I’m sorry. :( He didn’t make you do anything did he? Or did he tell you this before anything happened.

ZT SAYS: Will you be mad?

 

Rick glared into space. He hoped ZT’s story wasn’t too bad. He was going to have to demand answers so he could find the guy and fuck him up. If ZT had only been 15 when this happened…maybe there was a serious offender lurking about.

 

LL SAYS: I just care that you’re okay with whatever it is that happened.

ZT SAYS: It wasn’t a big deal. He just had me suck his dick. Obviously I wanted to, but I hoped it would get me somewhere. Both times it happened he just kind of left. Then he decided he wanted to fuck me, and I figured 2 days in wasn’t enough for that kind of thing. Idk, maybe I was being selfish

LL SAYS: Was this person 15 also, or older?

ZT SAYS: He was 16.

LL SAYS: Asshole.

LL SAYS: And never say that you were selfish again. If you entered into a sexual relationship, mutually agreeing that it would be reciprocal, then it's flat out rude for the other party to not reciprocate once he's gotten what he wanted. That's using you, and that's unacceptable. I'm glad you knew to stand up for yourself. I'm proud of you.

ZT SAYS: Lol. It’s okay. He doesn’t bother me anymore.

 

Rick tilted his head in thought. Did that dickhead still go to school with ZT?

 

LL SAYS: Well I hope he didn’t follow you out of high school. Hopefully he dropped off the face of the earth.

ZT SAYS: Ahh, I see him around once in a while. Nbd.

LL SAYS: if you’re sure. Just give me the word and I'll find him.

ZT SAYS: :) maybe someday

 

Rick didn’t answer for a while, wondering where he should lead the conversation. Poor ZT. Rick didn’t like that someone had used his friend. It disgusted him. Maybe he was jealous too, but mostly angry for ZT. Poor guy.

 

LL SAYS: Was that you’re last relationship? When you were 15?

ZT SAYS: Yeah

LL SAYS: Wow, that’s a long time.

ZT SAYS: Meh lol. I don’t really like many people. Just waiting for the right one.

LL SAYS: Me too.

ZT SAYS: Uhm can I ask you something else?

LL SAYS: Anything

ZT SAYS: Can I send you one of those pictures we hate so much? I think that would be a great first place to start our transition from friend to friend+. Everything we talk about is depressing or idk deep. We should do something fun.

 

Rick’s eyes bugged out at the computer. Holy fuck. He was going to get to see ZT naked? He could barely contain himself.

 

LL SAYS: Am I dreaming? Today’s my lucky day. By all means, send away.

LL SAYS: Do you want one back? Or… I’ve never sent one before.

ZT SAYS: ;) ;) yay. Yes I want one too. please and thank you

LL SAYS: :)

 

Rick could feel the beginnings of an erection. His hardness grew significantly once he concentrated on his mental image of ZT’s body. Rick went into the bathroom so he could use his cell phone to take the picture. He would have to test different angles since he didn’t have the first clue of how to do this.

The man had his cock in hand, testing different angles to make himself look bigger, not that he really needed to do that. Carl had shown him once how to use the front camera to take selfies, but he’d only done it once after that to see if he had anything on his face after lunch. He was grateful when he got it right on the first try. He already had 20 different pictures ready to send, and he leaned against the bathroom counter in anticipation of ZT’s first picture.

Rick’s stomach tingled when he got the notification of ZT’s message. He was nervous to see the picture in case his expectations of what his ‘friend’ looked like were inaccurate.

Rick readied himself to look at the photo.

“Shit,” he breathed, scrolling through the 4 pictures ZT had sent. Rick was anything but disappointed.

ZT was pale, thin, and not very hairy at all; he barely looked 18. Still, Rick had to admit he was completely turned on. Rick agonized over the pictures for at least  a few minutes before doing anything.

ZT had sent one picture of his lean chest. Rick marvelled at the flawless skin and the understated definition of the man's body. Rick looked at it closely, wondering if he'd ever seen that body before.

 

ZT SAYS: Picture Message 1/4: CRTL+S to save picture to computer

 

Really, Rick was more tempted to call ZT a boy or even a teenager with the young appearance of his body, but he guessed ZT was a late developer—and maybe he was closer to 20 than 30. Rick wasn’t bothered, especially when he looked at the shot of ZT’s silhouette, and two pictures of his dick. He immediately noticed that the man’s dick was circumsized, and of decent length. He couldn’t help but feel a little pride that he was bigger, but then again ZT still had growing to do, apparently. All Rick could think about was taking ZT into his mouth. Rick was practically salivating at the images. ZT had a nice body, and he definitely wanted to get his hands on it.

 

 

LL SAYS: WOW

ZT SAYS: Your turn ;)

LL SAYS: I’m in shock. You’re so incredibly hot. I was not expecting that

ZT SAYS: ;) thank you :$

 

Rick was no longer satisfied with his pictures. He stood up, taking a shot of his chest, but then he decided against it. What if ZT thought his bullet-hole scar was ugly? Rick retook the shot, angling out the scar and just focusing on his pecs and stomach. He didn’t think it was anything special, but that was life. Next he took a new picture of his dick. He imagined that ZT was there with him now. He couldn’t remember being this hard in a long time.

 

Rick closed the toilet seat and sat on top of it. He sent the two pictures, thinking they were at least adequate. The man grabbed hold of his cock, jerking it fast with his right hand while he held ZT’s pictures in his left. Before he came he swiped up to bring the camera back. Rick snapped multiple photos of himself coming. He sent ZT the close up and the full view of his load spattered across his stomach. He hated to admit that he could see the appeal of exchanging photos. He was turned on and ready for another go, but he restrained himself so that he could see ZT’s response. He cleaned himself up and put his clothes back on.

 

Rick was too embarrassed to look at all of the pictures, but he reviewed the harmless one of only his chest, double checking that his scar wasn't visible.

LL SAYS: Picture Message 1/3: CRTL+S to save picture to computer

 

ZT SAYS: Holy fuck. You’re the hot one.

ZT SAYS: Omg, you came?

LL SAYS: I was looking at your pictures.

ZT SAYS: You’re supposed to be older! How did you get so lucky? You’re fine! You're like toned and tanned and sexy wtf. Not what I was picturing at all. You're a total dilf.

LL SAYS: My luck has everything to do with you messaging me. ;)

 

Rick had no clue what dilf was, and Carl's short-form sheet said nothing about it.

 

LL SAYS: What does dilf mean?

ZT SAYS: dad i'd like to fuck

 

Rick felt new life come into his dick. Did ZT actually just say that?

 

ZT SAYS: seriously tho. How are you so hot? Is it the police work?

LL SAYS: I thought I was average, but I guess it must be. Although cops don’t really do much but sit there. I should know.

ZT SAYS: Omg, my dad says the same thing. It’s not true. Some of the greatest people I know are police. They’re not lazy. I mean, some of them are and some of them are crooked, but the ones in my town are awesome. I bet you’re just saying that. You probably do a lot of hard work. Plus you have to work shitty hours. You should respect yourself and your job more. Give yourself more credit.

LL SAYS: Do you want to be an officer? I'd certainly respect you. I couldn’t imagine anything more incredible than you in a uniform.

ZT SAYS: Don't give me any ideas.

ZT SAYS: Ehhh. I thought about it, but.. idk if I should tell you this, but

ZT SAYS: the cop I know is my dad.

ZT SAYS: anyways, I don’t want him to think I’m copying him or anything. Plus I don’t really want to move towns, so we’d end up working together, and I wouldn't want to make him look bad or anything

LL SAYS: I see now why you don’t want me to know your name. You think I might actually know your father?

 

Rick was a bit disappointed with the turn of the conversation. His mind was still wrapped around the sight of ZT’s lithe body. He was interested in dirty talking now, but somehow he and ZT always ended up in deep conversation.

 

LL SAYS: You should do whatever you want to. I’d love it if my son became an officer, but even if he didn’t, I’m sure he’d be great at that too. You both have so many similarities, and I think he’d make an excellent officer. I have no doubt you would too.

 

Rick was about to tell ZT that he’d been shot before, and that maybe the danger wasn’t always worth it, but ZT responded before he could send it.

 

ZT SAYS: Thank you. I have to go now, sorry. I’ll talk to you later. <3 thank you for the pics

Rick deleted his words.

LL SAYS: That’s all right. Have a good night. Thank you for the pictures. Wow. They were really something.

 

 

Once ZT logged off, Rick put his phone back in his pocket and emerged from the bathroom. He had just missed the ending of the movie, so he flipped through the channels to find something else.

“Carl!” Rick called.

“What?” Carl asked, coming into the living room from the kitchen.

“Christ, I thought you were upstairs.” Rick said, putting a hand to his heart.

Carl laughed, “Just came down for a drink.”

“Came out for air is more like it. You’ve been in your room for hours. What do you do up there for so long?”

“I could say the same to you. What do you do downstairs all the time? You’re always on your laptop now. You never even come up to ask me what I’m doing anymore. It’s unsettling. You don’t even tell me what to do.”

“Did you finish your homework and clean your room?” Rick inquired.

“Yeah,” Carl responded.

“Then what is there for me to do? You’re too good of a kid. It’s unsettling.”

Rick turned back to the TV, “Wanna watch TV with me?”

“Yeah,” Carl nodded, “That’s why I came down.”

Carl sat down, extending his legs across the couch so he could rest his feet on Rick’s lap

“What do you wanna watch?” Rick asked.

“I don’t know,” Carl shrugged, “What’s on?”

“How about a game show?”

“Jeopardy on?”

“The game is on,” Rick corrected slyly, settling into the couch.

“Oh I see,” Carl laughed, “You think you’re smarter than me? Okay Dad, sureee you are,” Carl scoffed.

They kept track of their winnings on a piece of paper while they watched.

“How about if I win you tell me what’s been goin’ on with you lately?” Rick suggested.

“What if I win?” Carl challenged.

“What if you win?” Rick repeated, suggesting that Carl tell him his prize.

“You tell me what you’ve been doing on your computer all the time.”

Rick narrowed his eyes, “It’s on. But you’re gonna be awful disappointed, son. There's nothin' for me to tell."

“We’ll see,” Carl said.

Rick had the lead for half of the show, kicking ass on “Road Rules” and “Loony Laws”, but Carl caught up with “Cartoons” and “U.S. Presidents”. Rick thought he had U.S. presidents in the bag, but it turned out he wasn’t as good in the category as he was in general American History.

Neither of them won the Double Jeopardy question which was in the category “French Literature. “This devilish, existentialist Jean Paul Sartre _chef d’œuvre_ features the quote « L’enfer, c’est les autres ».

Carl rolled his eyes, “Come onn. As if we’d do anything about that. I haven’t learned about that idiot yet. Do you know who he is?”

Rick chuckled, “I’ve heard of him, but I wouldn’t know that. I don’t speak French.”

“Stupid Alex. Ugh. I had you too. How much did you bet?”

“A thousand,” Rick smirked.

“What the hell? You can’t even take a risk? Wow, Dad. Wow,” Carl complained, frowning.

“How much did you bet?”

“All of it,” Carl grumbled.

Rick cackled, “My little gambler. Now you have to spill.”

“Do I have to?” Carl blanched.

Rick nodded, “We had a deal, son. ‘Sides it can’t be that bad.”

Carl pouted, “It is.”

“Rip it off like a Band-Aid,” Rick suggested. “Just blurt it out. Tell me.”

The boy stood up from the couch, walking a few feet away. “I don’t want to face you when I tell you,” Carl admitted. “I don’t want to see you get mad.”

Rick felt guilty, “If it’s bothering you that much, it’s okay. You don’t have to, Carl. I was just kidding around.”

“No it’s fine,” Carl argued. “I have to do it sometime. I have to just get over it.”

Rick leaned back into his spot on the couch, “Come here, Carl. Please.”

Carl obliged, going over to his father.

“You can face me, son. Nothing is going to make me mad at you. It’s okay.”

Rick took Carl’s hand in his own.

Carl took a deep breath, squeezing his eyes shut while he grasped his dad’s hands.

“I’m gay,” he whispered.

 

Rick didn’t say anything, he just stood up. He took Carl into his arms and hugged him tightly.

Rick felt tears in his eyes when he heard Carl sobbing. It was such a relief for Rick to finally know what his was keeping from him. He had felt so excluded and unimportant with Carl being so distant, and now it all made sense. Rick was a bit bothered that Carl thought he would be upset at him. He soothed Carl by rubbing his back gently until the boy stopped crying.

The man made to sit down, misjudging Carl’s movement as loosening his grip, but Carl didn’t let go completely, so both of them fell to the couch, Carl awkwardly sitting in Rick’s lap. Rick looked into Carl’s eyes. Carl looked back at his father innocently, seeing his own eyes looking back at him.

Rick blushed, clearing his throat and shifting his position. Carl smiled, moving his hand up to his eyes to clear the tears, but his dad’s hand beat him to it.

“You don’t have to keep secrets, Carl,” Rick whispered. “I love you.”

Carl looked down, “I love you too,” he squeaked, adjusting his position so that he wasn’t on Rick’s lap anymore, but sitting beside him.

Rick missed the feeling of Carl’s weight on him and the moment of closeness. It wasn't often that Carl and him were so intimately close. Not that he didn't enjoy it, he just got the impression that Carl might be uncomfortable with it. Now he realized, maybe that wasn't so. He wondered if that was what it would feel like to have ZombieTacos on his lap or if ZT was heavier than Carl. He couldn’t help but think it would be such a strange coincidence of the man’s true name was Carl or something close. He couldn't wait to share with ZT what had just happened with his son. It would be the perfect inspiration for ZT to be honest with his own father.

“Are you okay?” Rick asked quietly. He had his arm wrapped around Carl while another gameshow played on the TV.

“I was thinking about going to bed,” Carl admitted.

“Me too,” Rick agreed.

They walked up the stairs together, reaching Carl’s room first. Rick placed his hand on the back of Carl’s neck as a gesture of reassurance and love, letting his fingers touch the ends of Carl’s hair, eventually trailing his hand down the boy’s back. “Goodnight. I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Carl said with a soft expression, shuffling into his room, “Night.” He closed the door.

Rick had never been happier in his time as a father. He was so proud of Carl for being brave and telling him the truth. Receiving an explanation for odd and distant behaviour was one of the most relieving feelings he could think of. It made him want answers from ZT. He wanted to be able to share himself with ZT, but he wouldn’t do that unless he and ZT were on equal playing fields. Why should he give up his name if ZT wouldn’t give up his?

He decided to go straight to bed instead of messaging ZT. He was euphoric from his time with Carl and he didn't want to get into anymore deep conversations. His quota was filled for the day.

Rick was glad that he had decided not to have a late night when Carl roused him from sleep only an hour later.

"Dad?" Carl whispered from the doorway.

"Hmm?" Rick asked sleepily. He wanted to know if everything was okay, but he couldn't get the words out.

Carl didn't speak another word, but he shuffled his way to his dad's bed, crawling in next to the man. He didn't move at first, wondering if his father would think it was weird and want him gone, but Rick did no such thing. The man rolled over and spooned Carl, immensely comfortable and contented to have company. He missed the feeling of his son in his arms as he slept...it had been a few years since Carl started sleeping alone. He briefly wondered why they didn't share a bed anymore--it was so nice.

 

When Rick woke up he checked his phone to see if his alarm had gone off or if he had any messages. Using his phone as an alarm was the best idea Carl ever gave him. He didn’t have to wake up to a heart attack every morning when his alarm clock blared; with his phone he could play a nice tone or even a song. He loved it.

Rick was excited to see a message from ZT so early. It made him feel a little guilty for not messaging his friend last night.

 

ZT SAYS: Look what I woke up with…

 

Rick’s eyes widened when he saw the accompanying picture. ZT wasn’t playing games that day… the man had managed to get a perfect angle of his hard cock and the come he’d shot across his chest. ZT had his boxers pushed down around his hips to allow his hand unhindered access to his balls and dick. Rick was in awe.

Rick almost had a heart attack when he remembered Carl had been sleeping next to him. He looked beside him and sighed with relief when he discovered the boy had obviously woken up already. Rick was disappointed.

 

LL SAYS: Good morning to you too. Wow. Definitely worth getting out of bed for.

ZT SAYS: I was thinking about you.

LL SAYS: I was thinking about you too. I want to know more about you. I want to meet you. See your body in person.

ZT SAYS: Soon. :) I swear.

ZT SAYS: You got any pics for me?

 

Rick smirked, pulling his own boxers down around his upper thighs like ZT had done. He turned his camera to the video setting, making sure that it was angled only at his dick the entire time. He didn’t want to accidentally show his face.

Rick jacked himself at a slow pace, eventually working up to a speed that made his arm burn. He wanted to come hard for his friend, and show him what he was missing. He moved his closed fist tightly over his head, not even bothering to touch his shaft. Rick usually liked to fondle his balls while he masturbated, but he had to use his left hand for the camera.

He came in long bursts, a couple strings of come spurting into the air to land on his stomach, and the rest of it dripping from his slit down his fist. He always found jerking off better in the morning, especially when he hadn’t done it in a while, so it made a bit of a show. It turned him on even more to think that ZT had been doing the same thing while thinking of him. Rick couldn’t wait to meet this man. His dick throbbed with the desire for more, but he cleaned himself up and got out of bed.

He sent the video to ZT while he got dressed, checking the text box consistently for new messages. He grinned at ZT’s response.

 

ZT SAYS: Holy fuck, dude. I want you so bad right now.

LL SAYS: There’s more where that came from.

ZT SAYS: God I hope so. I’ll get you a video soon. I’ll make it a good one. Any requests?

 

Rick deliberated. He wanted to see ZT come, but he wanted to make it interesting. Sexier than just any old jerk off video. After a while there wasn’t anything new to them…

 

LL SAYS: Do it at school.

 

Rick couldn’t believe himself. He was turning into one of those internet pervs who kept asking for risqué things…but he couldn’t help himself. This guy was way too fucking hot to be concealed by clothes. He wanted to see all of ZT all of the time.

 

ZT SAYS: Dirty. ;) I like.

LL SAYS: I love.

 

Rick couldn’t wipe the smirk off his face even as he went downstairs to eat breakfast. Carl had put on coffee for him even though the boy didn’t drink it himself.

“Gracias,” Rick said, winking at Carl.

Carl smirked, "You slept pretty sound last night," looking almost guilty.

He couldn’t help but notice Carl’s rosy complexion, a deep blush that had spread down to his usually pale neck.

“What’s up with you, mister?” Rick asked, preparing bread to put into the toaster.

“Nothing,” Carl said, trying to keep a straight face.

“You’re lucky Shane’s not here,” Rick commented. “He’d get it out of you for sure. You’re lyin’ through your teeth.”

Carl scowled, trying to get rid of his blush, but it wasn’t working.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you got yourself some kind of cutesy message from that friend you been talkin’ to.”

“Shut up,” Carl scolded. “No I didn’t.”

“Ahhh,” Rick said with a grin, “Young love.”

Carl tried not to grin, but he couldn’t help it.

Rick laughed, “Don’t worry. You’re cute.”

Rick watched his son for a reaction, and when Carl smiled more he knew he’d struck gold, “Oh wait, is that what your friend said?” Rick paused, “Hmmm. Interesting. Carl and his boyfriend sitting online. T-E-X-T-I-N-G!”

“Oh my God, Dad. Please, please, please. Stop. Oh my God, I can’t handle you,” Carl said, trying not to laugh.

“Hahahaha,” Rick chuckled, pouring some coffee into his travel mug.

Carl glared at his cereal, trying to burn a hole into it.

Rick had to leave the room he was laughing so hard. He felt guilty for projecting onto Carl. He was the one who’d had the crazy message-filled morning. But, he had to distract Carl first, or else he’d be the one getting teased.

“I’m going to walk to school,” Carl announced.

“Okay, call me if you want to be picked up,” Rick said, chuckling to himself.

“Just so you know, I’m not walking because I want to. You’re acting crazy,” Carl said, closing the door before Rick could respond.

Rick shook his head and took a bite of his toast. He checked his phone.

 

ZT SAYS: I don’t think our messages this morning were a good idea. It was written all over my face how happy I was, and my dad caught on very quickly.

LL SAYS: Thank God my son didn’t notice. This morning was one of the best I’ve had. If I wasn’t good at keeping a poker face he would’ve ridiculed me to death.

ZT SAYS: That’s basically what happened to me lol

ZT SAYS: I’m almost at school ;)

LL SAYS: I can’t wait, talk to you soon.

ZT SAYS: xoxo

 

Rick checked his phone every 5 minutes like a madman, wondering when he was going to get his video. ZT was definitely taking his sweet ass time making a move.

He jumped when his phone vibrated, but it wasn’t ZT. It was Carl.

 

Carl: Hey dad, sup?

Rick: Slaving at my desk, you?

Carl: School :(

Rick: What class are you in?

Carl: P.E. we played dodgeball. Just got changed. Now waiting for the bell so we can peace.

Rick: Did your team win?

Carl: lol definitely not

Rick: XD

Rick: Want me to pick you up for lunch or anything?

Carl: It’s ok thx. Just gonna eat the one you packed, chill in the library.

Rick: See you at home :)

Carl: Cool <3

Rick: <3

 

Rick still had his phone in his hands when he got a notification for ZombieTaco’s new message. He could barely contain himself. He went to the bathroom so he could watch it in private.

The lighting of the video was dim and grainy, but Rick saw all he needed to see very clearly. His friend was standing in some sort of locker room, must’ve been at his university. Rick waited for the video to progress; so far all he could see was lockers.

Then he saw a very familiar sight, ZT’s dick came into the camera’s view, already hard. Rick watched eagerly, waiting to see what ZT was going to do. His friend had the camera half focused on the lockers and half on his erection. He jacked himself quickly, obviously not wanting to stick around a public locker room for very long. Rick was actually taken by surprise when ZT moved forward to open a locker door, and then he came, aiming his dick at the empty locker to leave his mark.

Rick watched in disbelief as the camera zoomed to focus on the white mess ZT had left. He didn’t know whether he was appalled or turned on or maybe both. He’d never seen anything like that before.

LL SAYS: Wow. Never seen anything like that before.

ZT SAYS: I’ve never done anything like that before, but I wanted to do something special for you. I could’ve gotten caught you know.

LL SAYS: You’re gutsy. That was definitely unique. Definitely hot. I don’t know, there was something so sexy about it. I wasn’t expecting it, that’s for sure.

ZT SAYS: Glad you liked it. ;)

LL SAYS: Kind of makes you think though, how much semen is on things in our everyday lives? I mean, if 1 out of 20 or even 1 out of 50 guys do what you just did…there has to be semen everywhere.

ZT SAYS: I never thought of it like that. I guess you’re right. I’m sure I’m not the only to do that at school… there’s tons of exhibitionists all over the Internet who like to get busy publicly too. Wow, ew. There’s probably cum on everything you love lmao

LL SAYS: That’s scary. It’s one thing for it to be yours, but imagine all the sick nutjobs out there? No thank you.

ZT SAYS: lmao, just try to forget it. it might ruin your life and turn you into someone who never leaves their house.

LL SAYS: too late. I just quit my job.

ZT SAYS: Oh, and not just semen, but piss too I bet. And all of the people who don’t wash their hands… there’s just disgust everywhere.

LL SAYS: Lord help us.

ZT SAYS: It will be okay, I promise not to contribute to any of it…again.

LL SAYS: I don’t care if you do it. You’re hot. As long as it doesn’t go to waste, I can’t complain.

ZT SAYS: You mean you want to see a video every time?

LL SAYS: :)

ZT SAYS: I’ve created a monster. You’re turning into a sex fiend.

LL SAYS: You’ve awoken something within me lol, I can’t deny that.

ZT SAYS: we have to meet soon. :(

LL SAYS: agreed.

 

\---

 

ZT SAYS: let’s play 20 questions. We’ve already been talking for a while and we still don’t know much about each other

ZT SAYS: I can't believe we haven't done this already omg.

LL SAYS: How do we play?

ZT SAYS: I’ll send 10 questions that we both answer and you do the same thing. You can do it however you want, but the key idea is 20 questions.

LL SAYS: All right, sounds fun.

ZT SAYS: 1. Favorite band

LL SAYS: I like Johnny Cash, the Rolling Stones, Bob Dylan…pretty standard stuff. How about you?

ZT SAYS: I really like the Foo Fighters and the Killers

LL SAYS: Yeah I’ve heard those bands. I especially enjoy the Killers. My son likes them too, and he listens to newer music.

ZT SAYS: Like what?

LL SAYS: I can’t remember many of the names, but there’s something to do with pilots, and then someone named Drake, and the 1995.

ZT SAYS: LMFAO omg. I think you mean 21 Pilots and the 1975. Hahahaha. Omg

LL SAYS: Yeah those are them. You know them?

ZT SAYS: You’re so cute.

LL SAYS: Stop it. Next question :P

ZT SAYS: 2. Your favorite movie

LL SAYS: I’m going to have to ‘cop out’ of this one. I don’t really have a favorite.

ZT SAYS: Omg. 1st of all nice joke. 2nd no passes. Just pick something.

LL SAYS: Jurassic Park.

ZT SAYS: Do you like Jurassic World?

LL SAYS: I thought it was excellent. Is that your favorite?

ZT SAYS: It’s a tie between that and Zombieland...kind of like my username

LL SAYS: I’ve never seen Zomebieland. But you and my son will get along very well. He enjoys those kinds of movies too. I can’t believe you two listen to the same music and like the same films.

ZT SAYS: ehh, tbh everybody likes this stuff. It’s not very unique lol, I bet 1 out of 5 people would say Jurassic World was their fave because it’s so recent.

LL SAYS: True. Maybe I’m just out of the times and I don’t know what’s popular for younger people. But, you’re probably not far off from 25 so pretty soon you’ll be old like me and like old things. :P

ZT SAYS: Silly LincolnLaw… so uncultured.

ZT SAYS: Wait a minute. I'm gonna get to meet your son? Wowww..

LL SAYS: I don't see why not...he'll like you just as much as I do.

 

Rick felt a little awkward that ZT was so similar to Carl. It made him feel as if he was chatting with his son. They’d only ever spoken about death and sex, so these little everyday details were lost on both of them. Now that they were being revealed, Rick was starting to get a clearer picture of who ZT was, and he had a feeling that he was closer to 20 than 30, and that was going to make for interesting family meals if his boyfriend—friend, lover, whatever you wanted to call it—was sitting next to his son and they both were practically just out of the womb. What would Carl think? Rick may as well just adopt another kid.

 

ZT SAYS: 3. Favorite colour.

LL SAYS: red

ZT SAYS: mine is black

 

Rick felt infinitesimally better since Carl’s favorite colour was blue.

 

ZT SAYS: 4. Favorite animal.

LL SAYS: owl

ZT SAYS: My dad likes owls too lol. I like crabs. I think they’re interesting.

ZT SAYS: 5 favorieit food

ZT SAYS: *favorite

LL SAYS: steak

ZT SAYS: pizza. 6 your son’s name.

LL SAYS: I’m sorry…you know I can’t answer that.

ZT SAYS: I’ll tell you my dad’s name.

 

Rick was super tempted. If he had ZT’s dad’s name and he was a cop…Rick could find him in the database in 10 seconds, but he wasn’t going to put Carl on the line like that just so he could find some random guy in Georgia.

 

LL SAYS: I’m not ready for that yet.

ZT SAYS: All right. 6. Your sexiest fantasy.

LL SAYS: Anything involving you.

ZT SAYS: Specifically.

LL SAYS: I don't know if I want to say...sending videos is one thing, but writing in words all the things I think about...Are you sure you want to read that?

ZT SAYS: Fuck yes I do.

LL SAYS: All right then...

LL SAYS: I want to take a shower with you and turn you around against the wall, and I want you to beg for me.

LL SAYS: I want you to thank me when I finally get to fuck you.

ZT SAYS: I change my fantasy to yours lol yours is lite compared to mine

LL SAYS: Hey now, what was yours ;)

ZT SAYS: It’s embarrassing.

LL SAYS: No it’s sexy, whatever it is. Tell me. please. Maybe we can make it come true.

ZT SAYS: Seriously. I don’t think you want to hear it. I shouldn’t have said anything.

ZT SAYS: You pick me up in your cruiser and tell me I’ve done something wrong, and you bring me to the station…and you lock me up, and my dad’s there.

LL SAYS: Go on. It's okay.

ZT SAYS: And he tells me that you’re going to be questioning me, so you take me into the interrogation room, and you fuck me until I answer your questions, and my dad’s on the other side, watching us.

 

Rick inhaled audibly at ZT’s admission. He pictured it, taking ZT right in front of everybody, and his dad would know who he really belonged to. His half-hard cock grew immediately at the thought. He felt a burst of anger at thinking of ZT as Carl. What if he was the dad looking in on Carl as he was…fucked…by some, some disgusting stranger? Rick frowned. He felt possessive all of a sudden, like he needed to go check on Carl.

 

LL SAYS: That’s definitely something that could never happen, but it’s going to be something I picture for the rest of my life. I wonder what your father would do. Is he very protective?

 

Rick was starting to wonder about this supposed father. If ZT was in his twenties and was still so obsessed…Rick didn’t really want to say obsessed, but focused. Yeah, if ZT was so focused on his father at this age, so much so that he wanted someone to fuck him in front of his father’s eyes…Rick couldn’t help but wonder what kind of underlying issues were there. He wondered if Carl ever had any thoughts like this. Young people seemed to be so frisky, and Carl was probably raging with hormones. Rick had to admit the idea turned him on--he had a new desire to get into Carl's head. Who knew what his son was thinking behind those pretty eyes...

 

ZT SAY: He is SUPER protective and like possessive. But I know he loves me.

LL SAYS: I don’t mean to offend you, but do you ever think that maybe there’s something to that? I’ve seen it happen before, where the father is overly protective of their child because he desires him or her. Do you think that could be going on? Or even the opposite.

ZT SAYS: well

ZT SAYS: idk, maybe. I never really thought about it. you’d think if that were true my dad would’ve tried to, ya know, molest me or something? I feel bad even saying that…no he’s never even hinted at anything like that. I haven’t even seen him naked for like my whole life, and even if I have a shirt off he covers his eyes like I’m a girl or something. We don’t even swim together. The most that happens between us is we use the bathroom while one’s in the shower, or we lie on the couch together. Maybe it’s subconscious then. Lol

LL SAYS: it just got me thinking, if you fantasize like that, fantasies that include your father, what if my son does too?

ZT SAYS: I’ve thought about him growing up, like

ZT SAYS: he’s my only male role model or whatever, right? So, idk when I realized I was gay, I sort of pictured males in his image. Is that weird?

LL SAYS: I don’t think so. I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s my fault for bringing it up. I didn’t mean to say your dad was a pervert or that you were secretly in love with him. I don’t know, my mind ran away from me there. Sorry.

ZT SAYS: It’s okay. I find it interesting tbh. What if that’s why I like you? you’re a cop. You’re almost 40, you have a son…you’re super dorky. You’re just like my dad. Maybe you’re onto something lmao.

LL SAYS: Well I’m one to talk then, look at me, talking to some 20 year old? I don’t even know how old you are. Sometimes you seem 25, other times you seem to be 16 just like my boy. You two like the same music, movies, both of you know what it’s like to lose a mother… you’re in school. I’d be tempted to think that it could be you in some weird twist of fate, but that’s extremely unlikely, and besides, he told me he doesn’t have an online profile.

ZT SAYS: COulD You FuckIn imagine??? Omg especially with all the shit we sent each other, omg if you were my dad I would literally die lmao. I feel sick just thinking about him catching me doing this kind of thing.

LL SAYS: Anything you want to tell me lol?

ZT SAYS: sort of, actually. Yes.

 

Rick frowned. Was ZT serious? Another secret to share?

 

LL SAYS: All right, I’m bracing myself.

ZT SAYS: I’m not in university like you think.

 

Rick ran his hands through his hair.

  
LL SAYS: What do you mean? You’re taking a break or something? Or you’re actually in college?

ZT SAYS: I’m in high school.

 

“Jesus Christ,” Rick said, pushing away from the kitchen table where he was seated. He got up to pace. “Oh for fuck sakes,” he said, “Come on!” He couldn’t believe he’d been so stupid. How young was this kid then? 14? 15? 18? Rick prayed for his life that the kid was 18.

 

LL SAYS: How old are you? or please, for the love of God say you’re a teacher. The janitor, anything.

 

Rick thought to the locker rooms in ZT’s video, and the skillful avoidance of school-related questions. Fuck. He had been so stupid.

 

ZT SAYS: 16. :(

LL SAYS: You let me send you pictures of myself, and you sent me pictures back, when you’re barely legal? I could go to jail for this. How could you keep this from me?

ZT SAYS: 16 is the age of consent, so you won’t get in trouble. I swear I’m not some undercover cop waiting to hang you out to dry.. seriously, I’m just who I said I was this whole time, with a different number on my birth certificate.

LL SAYS: My son is 16. How is this supposed to work? Will you two go out to the restaurant for kids eat free Tuesdays and leave me behind?

ZT SAYS: okay, that’s funny, but super uncalled for. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I kept the secret the same reason you kept yours. Why do you think I got so upset when I found out you had a kid? Imagine me being a father to someone the same age? It’s ridiculous to even imagine.

ZT SAYS: If you even knew about my age in the first place, you wouldn’t have given me the time of day, or worse, you would’ve and then I’d have thought you were a creep. It’s so much better this way. Now we know each other. We know our ages don’t matter.

LL SAYS: I don’t know if I can do this anymore. It’s not right.

ZT SAYS: Please don’t do this to me. I didn’t run away after you told me your secret, please don’t do that to me.

 

Rick grabbed a can of Coke from the fridge. He was out of his mind. He sat back down at the table before getting up again, and then sitting back down. What the fuck was he supposed to do? This was getting _way_ out of hand.

 

LL SAYS: If you’re 16 that means your dickhead boyfriend just happened last year.

ZT SAYS: yes

LL SAYS: You go to high school?

ZT SAYS: yes

LL SAYS: How do I know you don’t go to school with my son? What if you two share the same classes?

ZT SAYS: If I knew your son, I think it would be obvious.

LL SAYS: How so?

ZT SAYS: Well, you’re an officer, and I told you so is my dad. Plus you know my dad is a widow. If I actually lived in your town, then you’d know an unmarried officer who had a son who was me, and you’d know who I was. My dad is super recognizable anyways, so if he was your fellow policeman you wouldn’t be able to miss him.

ZT SAYS: See, there you go. Nothing to worry about. You don’t know me, well in person at least.

 

Well thankfully none of that sounded familiar. Rick did a quick inventory of his coworkers. Shane had Andrea, no son. Daryl didn’t have a son. Glenn had a kid on the way with his pharmacist wife Maggie, Michonne’s baby had died long ago, and Hershel’s son was much older than 16. The rest of the people either had no children, daughters, or kids who weren’t 16.The only person who fit the bill was him.

 

Fuck.

Rick’s jaw dropped, his eyes watered, and nausea washed over his body in a green wave.

No.

“Small town near Atlanta” was all he could think about.

 

ZT SAYS: Plus my dad was shot when I was a kid, and he almost died. If there was a cop on your team who was shot, then you’d probably know about it.

  
Rick barely had the energy left to type it, but he managed.

 

LL SAYS: I know about it. About 10 years ago?

ZT SAYS: Yeah, I was just a kid. But how do you know? You read it in the newspaper?

 

Rick shook his head. How could he not be getting it? How couldn’t he see it?

 

LL SAYS: Think about it, Carl.

 

Rick closed his laptop before he could see any response and he walked out of the front door. He got into his car and drove. He had to get away. He needed to think.

 

 

Rick wasn’t sure where he was driving to or what he was driving from. As soon as he got out of his neighbourhood, and eventually to the outskirts of King County, he started to have doubts. What if there were just an obscene amount of coincidences and ZT—Carl…whoever—really was telling the truth?

The man thought while he drove. He tried to think of all the details of their conversations, which was more than tricky since they’d been carrying on for over 3 months. Rick felt stupid. As soon as ZT had disclosed that his age was 16, he should’ve known. All the pieces had been there: dead mother, single dad, father is a police officer, small town close to Atlanta, the dirty pictures…

The pictures made Rick feel the guiltiest. Not only because they were obviously crossing the father and son line, but because he didn’t even recognize Carl’s body. How could that be? Rick realized maybe he hadn’t wanted to. Why else would he have imagined ZT on his lap when it was Carl? Why would he have noticed that ZT’s body was young? Rick had seen all of the signs, and he’d ignored them. He couldn’t be too hard on himself because it wasn’t like he and Carl were naked in front of each other every 5 seconds, but still.

Rick even made the connection between him suggesting to ZT that he tell his father the truth about his sexuality and Carl admitting his own to him. Rick blushed and couldn’t help but smile when he remembered the morning he’d teased Carl relentlessly for having exchanged cutesy messages with his “online boyfriend”. To realize that it had been him…well that was pretty ironic.

And the name ZombieTacos…typical Carl. Rick found himself beginning to be amused instead of agonized. It was almost like a little game putting all of the puzzle pieces together. Instead of guilty and angry, he started to feel only silly. He had to remind himself that this wasn’t all a joke, but why did it feel so funny?

His next line of thought was why hadn’t Carl recognized him? Rick realized then, of course, that he had really tried not to give himself away. By chance he’d even concealed his scarred chest. If Carl had even the slightest guess that it was his father to whom he was speaking, all doubts would’ve been erased when he looked at the picture of Rick and saw no evidence of a bullet wound.

Rick couldn’t help but miss ZombieTacos. What else would he do if the only person he was interested in was actually his son? Not only would he lose a partner, but the relationship between him and Carl would never be the same.

The thought that made him turn around was the remembrance of ZT’s fantasy and the discussion that followed. Rick had wondered if ZT was interested in his father since he had basically admitted that his father starred in most of his desires. For somebody to imagine being fucked in front of his father and to admit that it wasn’t always just watching that the father did…Rick knew he had someone to go back to. He had gotten what he had always wanted. Hadn’t he said to Carl only weeks ago that he wished someone who’d been in front of him all along could offer him new perspective and fix his broken life? Who better than the person who he held most dear? Carl.

Rick raced back to the house. Scared that it might be too late. Carl might be gone. What if he ran away or did something stupid like go to the fuckhead boyfriend he’d had? It stung to realize that his boy had been hurt and hadn’t even told him, but Rick let it go. None of that mattered anymore.

He pulled into the driveway, checking his phone to see if there had been any messages of desperation or confusion or apology from either ZT or Carl. There were none, so he continued on into his house, stowing his phone in his pocket.

“Carl?” Rick called, ascending the stairs.

Rick went to Carl’s bedroom, but there was nobody in there. The first thing he noticed was Carl’s open laptop. He went over to it, unsurprised when he saw the open chat page between both of them. The cursor blinked in the message box. The last message had been his own. “Think about it, Carl.”

He walked down the hall.

“Carl? Please, are you here?”

Rick saw the bathroom door closed. He knocked.

“Carl?”

For the first few seconds of listening, he didn’t hear anything through the door, but then Carl revealed his presence through quiet, broken sobs.

“Son?” Rick asked, “Open the door.”

“I’m not mad,” Rick assured. “It’s gonna be okay. We can talk if you come out.”

“No,” Carl cried. “I’m never coming out.”

“Please, open the door now,” Rick said a little more firmly. “We have to face it,” Rick said.

He let Carl think about it for a couple minutes and gather his courage.

He heard the door unlock, but Carl didn’t emerge.

Rick steeled himself, “I love you, Carl. Nothing will change that. Just come out.”

Carl cracked open the door, looking at his feet, unable to face is father yet. Slowly he opened the rest of the door and stood in the threshold.

Rick could see Carl’s pain written all over his face. The boy’s face was wet with tears, and his eyes were bloodshot.

Rick didn’t want to call Carl by his name, or call him son, but he wanted to convey the boy’s importance to him. His new importance.

“Sweetheart,” Rick whispered, putting his hand to Carl’s cheek. He tilted the boy’s face up, sad to see his eyes closed.

He moved forward, pressing his lips to Carl’s gently so he wouldn’t startle him.

Carl’s eyes flashed open in surprise, but he didn’t pull away.

Rick pulled away after a few more seconds, “Come on.” He bent his knees, getting low to grasp Carl’s thighs so he could pick him up.

Carl got the hint and let himself by lifted up by his father. He wrapped his legs around the man’s hips and his arms around the man’s neck.

Rick got the indication that Carl wasn’t opposed to what he’d just done. Plus the boy had stopped crying. Rick carried his son to his room just as he had when Carl was little and didn’t want to sleep alone in his own room. There was more than enough room for the two of them in Rick’s bed.

The man placed his boy on top of the bed. Even though Carl was catching up to Rick’s height, he was still very light so it was with ease that Rick carried him. Rick unfolded the throw blanket at the foot of the bed to cover Carl’s body. Rick got into the bed next to him, not needing a blanket. He had too much energy to be cold.

Rick lay there for a few minutes before trying to say anything, but Carl beat him to it.

“What do we do?” Carl asked quietly.

“Why were you crying, Carl?”

It was unclear to Rick whether Carl was upset because of embarrassment or loss. Did he fear a punishment?

“I was scared you’d be mad and I felt stupid,” Carl paused.

“I—I thought, or I felt,” Carl started, “Like I’d lost someone. If it was you, then there was nobody because it’s not like… not like I could have you. You know?”

Rick pondered Carl’s response. It was much similar to the process of emotions he’d gone through while he was on his drive.

"Carl, you have to stop thinkin' I'm gonna be mad at you all the time."

Carl nodded.

"Why do you think I'm some monster?" Rick asked, hurt.

"No, I don't. I swear. It's me not you," Carl explained.

Rick waited for an explanation.

"I just...I just want you to love me. I just," he sighed. "When you find out your son's like in love with you or something, I don't know. What if you thought I was weird or disgusting or--?"

Rick, "Shh. Carl you never have to be scared of me. I love you. That's all you ever need to know. None of the rest matters."

Carl wiped his eyes, trying to accept his dad's love, but it was difficult since he'd never thought he could have what he wanted...not like this.

“Did you have any clue at all that it was me? I can’t help but ask. I went over it over and over again. I can’t believe I didn’t realize it sooner,” Rick admitted.

“We both knew on some level,” Carl reasoned, rolling over to face Rick now that he’d tested the waters and realized it was a safe space to speak openly in.

“We had so much in common…things that aren’t very common, but like, the stuff you told me like being a policeman and liking Johnny Cash…that could’ve been anyone. What I really can’t get over is how I didn’t clue in when I saw the—“

“The pictures,” Rick finished, blushing and covering his eyes. “That’s what I get hung up on every time.”

“If you would’ve shown your scar, Dad… I would’ve known right away,” Carl explained. “What happened?”

Before Rick could even say anything, Carl spoke again, “You know I looked for it. In every picture or the…the stupid videos, I tried to see it, and I actually felt disappointed when it wasn’t there. I couldn’t ask outright either. You picked good angles.”

Rick closed his eyes and sighed, “I didn’t want you or…him to see it and think it was ugly. And to be fair, if you had admitted right away how old you were, I could’ve put pieces together much quicker.”

Carl smiled slyly, “Mr. bachelor with no children. What the hell was that?”

Rick humbled, “I didn’t mean it like that. People are more accepting once they’ve already given you a chance. If I had it on there, nobody would even look twice.. but if I got them to like me and then told them the truth, they might like me too much to let me go. I don’t know. It was dumb. But don’t ever think I was ashamed of you or anything. It wasn’t like that.”

“I can’t believe I told you those things…” Carl said vaguely. “God. I can’t believe….ugh.”

Rick wasn’t sure what Carl meant at first, and then he got a nice visual.

“Can I say somethin’?” Rick asked.

“Anything,” Carl answered.

“When you told me what you wanted him to do…I got angry ‘cause I was thinkin’ of you.”

Carl looked at Rick, finally. “What?”

“I pictured watching you with…someone else,” Rick said begrudgingly, “And I wondered if you’d ever thought anything like that. I didn’t want anybody touchin’ you.”

“Like I said,” Carl smirked, “We both knew in some weird way.”

“I feel so stupid,” Rick repeated, “All those times when we both noticed the similarities and thought…but we couldn’t make the full connection.”

“It’s okay,” Carl shrugged. “It makes sense that you didn’t put it together…I didn’t give you much to go on, but me? I’m the one who should’ve figured it out. You typed so properly and said ‘perps’. How could I have let that one slide?”

Rick smiled at son, “Don’t be so hard on yourself,” he said, pulling out his phone. He went to his photo library.

“Oh, God. Dad. Please don’t show me those. Wait you actually saved them?”

Rick smirked, “I can see your bedspread in this one, and those lockers…I did go to the same high school as you. I saw them almost every day for four years.”

“I honestly feel so mortified. Like I could just die,” Carl said. “Ugh. But at the same time, I feel like it doesn’t matter. You figured it out, eventually…and I bet I would’ve soon. But you have more experience with investigations and putting facts together--” Carl stopped as if he just remembered something significant, “Why did you kiss me?”

Rick sat in silence, thinking his answer through, “Because I’m not losing what we had. What was there even before we knew it. What took months of talking to a familiar stranger to realize…” Rick explained. “I got what I wanted. Remember when I told you what I wished for?”

Carl’s expression was serene, “You wanted someone who was there all along to fix it all,” he remembered.

“That’s you, Carl,” Rick stated. “If you don’t have any objections.”

Carl expressed his disbelief, “I thought you just…I don’t know what to say. I thought you just felt bad for me,” he paused. “You actually _want_ me?” Carl asked.

“I don’t care about any of it,” Rick declared. “I found what I wanted. I say we forget it all. The messages, the pictures, the lies, the secrets,” he listed. “We don’t start over, but we forget that any other versions of ourselves existed. We’re who we were before this mess, except,” he tried to find the right words to explain his sentiment, “we’re together.”

“It doesn’t matter that I’m your son?” Carl clarified. “You don’t think my fa…my fantasies were gross?”

“No, Carl. None of it matters,” Rick replied. “I want you to tell the truth about what you want. I want you to be able to trust me. Not be scared that I’m gonna get mad at you or hate you like you were when you told me you were gay or when you told ‘me’ that ‘you didn’t want your dad to find out’ about what you were doin’ on the internet,” Rick raised his eyebrows pointedly, “I made my peace with what this is. I fell in love with you, Carl. I’m not giving that up.

Carl brushed his hair out of his eyes, “Seriously?” He whispered.

Rick nodded seriously, “Correct me if I’m assumin’ too much, but you always wanted this, Carl. I’m new to it, but I get it now. I get why you wanted it before. We’re all we have, and it doesn’t make sense any other way. I see what you always saw.”

Carl shook his head, “It doesn’t…I can’t accept it. How can I finally be getting what I wanted? It seems too crazy, like there’s a catch. As if something so crazy would ever work out for me…”

“It’s real, Carl,” Rick assured. “I don’t plan on changin’ my mind. I want us both to be happy, and if you think you want me…if you think that will make you happy, then you got it.”

“Can you kiss me again?” Carl asked as a way of agreeing to what Rick said.

Rick nodded. He moved closer to Carl, removing the boy’s blanket and exposing his clothed body.

Carl averted his eyes, and Rick responded by pulling his son on top of him.

Rick had fantasized about ZT for weeks, wishing to finally get the man in front of him so he could have his way with him. ZT being Carl was an unexpected hang-up, but now that that problem was solved, he wanted to get started on making their fantasies a reality. He knew that neither of them were going anywhere any time soon, but he still wanted Carl sooner than later.

The man rested his hands on Carl’s back, waiting for Carl to indicate that he was ready.

Carl closed his eyes and relaxed his expression, waiting for his father to give him what he wanted. Rick kissed him for the second time that night, allowing Carl to get used to the feeling before he advanced.

“I like you better with this,” Carl admitted, feeling Rick’s stubble, just at the length before it grew into a full-on beard.

“Why?” Rick wondered.

Carl shrugged, “It feels good,” he said, practically giggling, “You look…”

Carl didn’t want to be too blunt and scare his father away by being _too_ attracted, but he was tired of holding back; he’d wanted this a long time. “You’re hot.”

Rick grinned. Getting compliments like that from Carl would take some getting used to, but it wasn’t going to be difficult. He’d never thought of Carl in terms like that before, but it was getting easier by the minute. Especially since Carl looked delicious and sincere atop him. The boy’s blue eyes were practically begging for more touch, and he seemed to have a blush that never left. Rick could even feel his son’s heart beating between them. Rick didn’t know if he noticed it, or if it was unintentional, but Carl was rocking his hips ever so slightly.

“Jesus, Carl. I--,” Rick couldn’t finish.

“What?” Carl said, alert.

“I want to fuck you,” Rick admitted, willing himself to watch Carl’s reaction, fearful he might be rejected.

Carl practically trembled, “Please.”

 

“There’s somethin’ I want to do first,” Rick said, rolling Carl off him.

Carl lay on the bed, clothes wrinkled and hair unkempt, waiting for his dad to make the next move. He was so hard he could see his waistband starting to pull away from his hips. Rick looked so irresistible, taking his button up off and tossing it on the ground. He pushed a lock of his hair behind his ear so it wouldn’t get in the way of his task.

“Dad,” Carl begged, “What are you gonna do?”

Rick winked before moving to straddle Carl, unbuttoning his own jeans and then the boy’s.

“You’re excited,” Rick noticed, stating the obvious. He was so grateful to see this in person. It would be so much better than the grainy photos of someone who he'd thought was a stranger.

Rick didn’t tell Carl what he was up to, but it was evident when he pulled Carl’s jeans and boxers down and tossed them on the ground. Carl took off his own shirt.

Rick didn’t waste any time taking Carl’s dick into his mouth.

“Gah!” Carl cried, arching off the bed a little bit. “Oh, shit.”

Carl came in Rick’s mouth with a groan. All Rick had to do was take Carl to the back of his throat, and lick up the shaft since Carl had never been touched by anybody else.

“Whoa,” Carl breathed.

Rick didn’t bother looking smug since it wasn’t anything special to make a teenaged boy come. He wanted Carl’s first sexual experience with him to be receiving instead of giving to make up for that asshole who’d used Carl the year before. He still had to find out the douchebag’s name.

“There,” Rick smiled, feeling his erection through his jeans, “No you know what a blowjob feels like, well, more or less.”

Carl looked guilty, “Heh,” then he couldn’t help but ask, “Did you do that because of what I told you because of that guy?”

Rick shrugged, “I would’ve anyway, but I made a special point of doing it first so you didn’t get bad memories or somethin’,” Rick explained.

It only took Carl’s silence and the averting of his eyes for Rick to realize he’d been duped, “Why’d you tell me that if it wasn’t true?”

Carl closed his eyes, shrugging, “I wanted you to know that I wasn’t just a little kid…I’d done stuff before, and I thought it’d be better if you felt bad. Like if you felt protective of me it would remind me of my dad…you…and it kind of turned me on when you got all possessive,” he admitted.

“I’d say I felt used,” Rick joked, “But I enjoyed it too much. Well at least I don’t have to kill anyone now.”

Carl smiled, “You’re not mad?”

“I told you, son. I don’t get mad at you. I don’t know where you got that idea. I just like it when you’re honest. And to be honest myself, I really only got one thing on my mind right now,” he admitted mischievously, pulling his jeans down, revealing his erection.

Carl gulped, “Uh, wow. Better than the pictures.”

Rick grinned, “It’s all yours in a minute.” He shifted his position to get his pants off, and then moved towards the nightstand to get out the lube.

 

“Where’d you get _that?_ ” Carl demanded.

“Drugstore,” Rick said.

“What did Mrs. Rhee have to say about it?” Carl asked, scandalized.

“Maggie just laughed at me. Said, ‘It’s about time’,” the man explained.

“Wow,” Carl said, calming down. “This is gonna be… _really good._ ”

“I know,” Rick nodded. He could barely contain himself.

 

Rick was going to ask Carl how he wanted it, but Carl moved on his own, kneeling on all fours before him. He couldn’t help but reach out and palm the boy’s smooth ass, smacking it lightly when he pulled his hand away.

“So…boy,” Rick said, testing the word on his tongue, “Are you ready?”

Carl whimpered. He didn’t know what to say back; he didn’t know what kind of talk his dad liked… “Yeah, Dad,” he settled for. It didn’t sound sexy enough, but he wanted to work up to anything else. “Do it.”

Rick listened to his son, coating his finger with lube. He’d never done this before, and neither had Carl, but Rick could figure it out. He barely teased Carl’s entrance, letting the boy adjust to the odd feeling.

Carl let himself relax, feeling his father’s fingertip on his hole, gliding over it gently with his lubed finger. He was scared it would hurt, but he knew enough to know that it would feel good even if it made him a little sore at first.

Eventually Rick progressed to a fingertip, gradually entering Carl a little at a time, adding a generous amount of lube to prevent any burning. He really wanted to be quick and dirty—just fuck Carl into the mattress and finally know what it felt like to really sin. But he knew they could get to that later, when they were both ready. No point in rushing when they had all the time in the world.

Carl winced when Rick added a second finger, but he breathed through it, reaching down to his dick to jerk it, this way he could cancel out the discomfort.

“Okay, baby?” Rick asked. He didn’t want Carl to hurt, but his cock was demanding attention.

“Dad,” Carl said, face in pillow, “Can I call you ‘daddy’?”

Rick answered Carl’s question with a third finger, crooking them and twisting with his wrist to really give Carl something to feel. He used his left hand to grab his dick, needing to touch it before his situation became critical. He’d never considered being called daddy before, and Carl hadn’t said it since he was just a kid, but somehow it seemed appealing and suitable with his 16 year old son on his knees in front of him. What other word would there be to call him?

“Yes,” Rick growled, punctuating his permission with the removal of his fingers.

Carl moaned, “Please,” he begged, “Daddy…do it.”

Rick didn’t hesitate. He thrusted into Carl, almost collapsing from the encapsulating pleasure.

“Fuck,” Rick bit out. He didn’t know what they’d been waiting for. Jesus, it felt damn good.

“Oh my God,” Carl said, tears in his eyes. He’d never felt anything like that in his life. Playing around in his room with his fingers was nothing compared to feeling his father’s hard cock within him, filling his ass delightfully.

Rick thought he was hurting Carl at first, but with a couple of thrusts, Carl was gasping, fisting the pillows in front of him, and he realized that Carl was enjoying it, immensely.

The man kept going, resting his hands on Carl’s hips, pulling him back onto his cock over and over again before switching it up and holding Carl into place while he thrusted forward relentlessly.

Carl jacked himself a couple of times and then he came, his come shooting onto his father’s sheets.

“Daddy,” he breathed, “Dad, oh…” he went almost limp, completely fucked out.

Rick held his son firmly into place while he finished himself off, slowing his pace down so only his cockhead was in Carl. Rick rocked back and forth gently for a few moments, letting Carl’s tight hole close around the tip of his dick repeatedly. When he was ready to come he pushed forward, shooting his load into the boy generously.

“Ah,” Rick and Carl said at the same time, Rick pulling out and lying beside Carl. He pulled his son to his side, throwing an arm around him. He had zero energy left.

Neither of them spoke. There was absolutely nothing left to say since they’d done all their communication physically. It was obvious what would happen next.

 

\---

 

Next thing Rick knew it was midnight. He rolled over groggily to check his alarm clock. He had to be up in a few hours to work.

He rolled over to check on Carl, but the boy was gone. Rick got up, suddenly alert.

“Carl?” He called quietly. Rick heard the boy call back from the kitchen.

“What’re you doin’ up?” Rick said, leaning on the counter beside the fridge. He was completely naked, and when his eyes fully adjusted he could see that Carl was as well.

“Just thirsty,” Carl said, putting his glass of water down.

“So?” Carl asked.

“So what?” Rick repeated.

“What do you think?” Carl clarified.

“I think you’re gonna get tired of me real soon,” Rick chuckled.

“Why would you say that?” Carl asked, “I wanted this. You.”

“You say that now,” Rick shook his head, “But I’m never gonna leave you alone.”

“What do you—?” Carl began before Rick stepped forward, lifting Carl onto the counter.

 

The boy sat on the counter, legs wrapped around his father. He opened his mouth eagerly to accept Rick’s tongue, enjoying the feeling of stubble against his face once again.

Rick changed gears, picking Carl up off the counter and setting him down, turning the boy so his ass was to him before Carl could even ask any questions.

Rick felt Carl’s body with an explorative hand, checking to see if the boy was still open.

“My lucky day,” Rick commented, guiding his cock into Carl’s ass for a second time.

“Yess,” Carl hissed, bending over to lean onto the counter.

Rick made quick work of his son, reaching around to stroke his dick. Carl wasn’t as easy as before, having built up a small tolerance after already coming twice.

“Hmm,” Rick said, slowing down his pace. “You want it slow then?”

Carl pushed his ass back, “No.”

“No, what?” Rick asked playfully.

“No, Daddy,” Carl corrected himself.

“Me either,” Rick said. “Come on, baby. Do it.”

Carl concentrated on the feeling of his father’s strong hand on his dick, moving up and down in time with his thrusts. Being called baby helped put him over the edge, his orgasm building up from his toes. He could feel it coming on, but he held back just a little longer, wanting to savour it.

He finally released into his dad’s hand with a groan. Carl’s dick was sensitive from all of the sexual activity, and he knew he would feel all the fucking in his ass the next day, but he reasoned that his mouth wasn’t sore.

“Stop,” Carl said, turning around when Rick withdrew.

Rick was about to ask what was wrong when Carl dropped to his knees before him, taking his entire length into his mouth.

“Wow,” Rick approved. He wondered if Carl would object to the taste, considering it was ass to mouth, but Carl never commented. Rick imagined it was because Carl’s ass was immaculate, nothing unfavourable to be found. He wondered if Carl would let him rim him…but he’d have to save it for next time since he figured they’d both had enough for one day.

Carl sucked off Rick obscenely well, not favouring any specific tongue technique, but opting instead for zealous deep throat strategy. He loved the feeling of being full, he discovered. Having his father’s dick in his mouth made his jaw ache and his eyes water, but it was so worth it. Carl wished he had enough energy to get fucked again, but he had to be realistic with his limits.

Rick rocked his hips back and forth, letting Carl’s tight lips squeeze around his hard length. It was so exciting to do this in the kitchen in the heat of the moment. He’d never really felt spontaneity like that with Lori or previous girlfriends before, but with Carl it was different; he couldn’t get enough. Seeing his son naked in the kitchen in such a domestic, mundane setting was a huge turn on. 

“I wanna come in your mouth,” Rick murmured, cupping Carl’s cheek with his hand.

Carl didn’t say anything, but he sucked faster, even bringing up one of his hands to play with Rick’s balls.

Rick let himself go, finishing in Carl’s mouth. He didn’t let any sounds escape, but his entire body tensed and he had to grind his teeth to stand the euphoric feeling. Carl swallowed happily, bringing his hand up to massage his jaw.

Rick helped Carl up, brushing his hands over the boy’s knees for a few seconds to massage the tightness out of them from the kneeling. “My boy,” Rick whispered, kissing the top of Carl’s head.

Carl keened, leaning on his father tiredly and going up the stairs together.

They both collapsed in Rick’s—their—bed, exhaustedly.

 

\---

 

Rick was not happy that he had to leave a sleeping Carl all alone in that big bed, but he had to go to work. He smiled to himself at Carl's sleeping position. On his stomach with one leg extended straight and one bent up at the knee. The sheets and blankets had moved conveniently around the boy's form to reveal one pale butt cheek. Rick adjusted the blankets so the boy was completely covered, and he left.

The man sent a wakeup text to the boy at 7:30 so he could get up for school.

Rick: Morning. Get up. School. Now.

Rick: ;)

Carl: Noooooooooooooooooo

Rick: Yes.

Carl: Do I have to?

Carl: Daddy?

Rick: Yes.

Rick: Baby.

Carl: Damn.

Rick: Gotta keep it real, son.

Carl: Omg, I'll go. just pls stop. Go catch 'perps' or something.

Rick: I always do. And even if I don't stop, you're going to school.

 

\---

 

"Rick, Jesus Christ. You don't call. You don't write. All weekend? What the fuck man?" Shane boomed when Rick walked into the station.

"Ahh," Rick said, covering his probably damaged ear. "Sorry, Shane. Was busy."

"Doin' what? Doin' who? Details man, shit, last time I talked to you you said you met somebody, now I don't hear a goddamn peep outta you. What's goin' on?"

Rick smirked, "Where's Daryl? I need backup...especially this early."

"Nah, nah," Shane laughed, "Just me and you for now."

Rick chuckled and shrugged, "I had a long...talk with Carl," he began.

"And?" Shane urged.

"I decided to wait. I uh--," Rick scratched his head,  "I'm deleting my profile. Gonna stop lookin'."

"This for Carl?" Shane clarified, "Or you just pussin' out?"

Rick shrugged, "He doesn't want me to find someone else, and I don't want to either."

Rick continued, "Me and him are fine on our own. I don't need anybody else. Carl's my boy. I got all I need."

Shane nodded, "Yeah, man. Exactly. I wasn't gonna say nothin', but yeah, that's the right choice. Carl needs you. You got your son. Don't need no girlfriends hangin' around, gettin' in the way of that."

"I couldn't agree more," Rick smiled.

 

\---

 

Rick was eager for the end of the day. Work was slow and all he could think about was what he and Carl could be getting up to once he got home. He'd resisted texting his boy all day, wanting to keep himself waiting, wanting to keep Carl waiting. Rick finally gave in and texted Carl at the end of the day when it was absolutely necessary.

 

Rick: Do you need me to pick you up?

Carl: Yes please.

Rick: Ok.

Carl: Are you alone?

Rick smirked, typing out a response.

Rick: You bet.

Carl: Good. I have another video for you.

Rick: Lucky me.

Carl: ;)

 

Rick leaned back in his desk chair, waiting for the video to show up on his phone. He would definitely get used to this.

 

\---

 

When Carl got into the cruiser, the first thing he did was put his hand on his father's thigh, looking at him mischievously.

"So you liked the video?" Carl wondered.

Rick looked over at his son with raised eyebrows, "Probably too much."

Carl smirked, looking out the window as Rick drove them home.

"Carl seriously, you--" Rick began, choosing his words carefully. "You don't know how special you are. Special to me," he emphasized.

The boy smiled, looking at his father from under his eyelashes, "You too."

After a few minutes of driving, the sexual tension was off the hook, and Carl blurted, "I have to tell you something else."

"Hmm," Rick encouraged.

"The night I came to sleep with you...you know in the morning?"

Rick thought, trying to place the memory, "Oh yeah," he blushed, "Yeah."

"You know where I took those pictures right?"

"You didn't," Rick said skeptically. "You were playin' with yourself right next to me?"

"Yeah," Carl laughed. "I didn't know whether it was good you didn't wake up or bad."

Rick hardened in his slacks, "You're gonna kill me." He took a hand off the wheel to grab himself, but Carl brushed his hand away.

"Not yet," Carl said. "We're almost home."

"I've been waitin' all day for you," Rick complained.

Carl winked, "Besides, I have something I want us to do first before we do anything else like this," he eyed Rick's crotch.

 

\---

 

As soon as the two Grimes walked in the door, Carl sprinted to his room.

Rick was confused, but it became clear when Carl returned with his laptop.

"Get yours, Dad."

Rick went to the kitchen table where he'd left it the day before, and opened it up.

"We're deleting our profiles," Carl declared. "Together."

"What about all those conversations?" Rick asked. "I might want to read 'em again."

"Nope," Carl argued, "None of it matters, right? Like you said. We need to do this."

Rick sighed, "I'm keepin' the pictures and the video though. I don't care."

Carl laughed, "Me too."

They deleted their profiles on the count of 3, laughing at themselves. Rick pulled Carl onto his lap, kissing his neck.

"So?" Rick asked. "What next, boss?"

"I'm hungry."

"Tacos?" Rick guessed.

"Yes," Carl nodded.

"Let me just change," Rick said, standing up despite Carl being nicely settled.

"Aweh, I like the uniform though," Carl whined.

"I know," Rick smirked, "We'll save it for later."

"Shit," Carl said. "I'm holding you to that."

"You better," Rick agreed, going up the stairs to his room.

Dinner with his son. Dinner with his lover. He didn't know what to call it, but he knew he was happy. Carl was all he needed.

 

**Author's Note:**

> grimesobcest.tumblr.com
> 
> Special thanks to TheChandle_Nator for his opinions and insights. xx
> 
> Also lol at my cropjobs of those 2 pics. Ahaha. Not much to work with on Google.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed xx


End file.
